If Kane is Palpatine, is Cena Vader?

Raw falls upon Boxing Day this year. Will it be as special as Christmas Day, or do we get the post-holiday blues?

The show opens with CM Punk’s theme playing, and as Raw is in Chicago tonight, the crowd goes nuts. They go nuts in a negative sense, however, when it turns out that the man coming down the ramp is John Laurinaitis, wearing a CM Punk shirt. I love when the audience expectations are played with, and the payoff winds up being worth it. John, in his raspy monotone, feels the need to explain that the audience expected one thing, and got another, and that means that Laurinaitis is truly the most exciting and spontaneous GM. I truly love how he’s embraced his blandness and made it into a running gag. Not only is it funny, but it makes him a good foil to CM Punk: he’s not just a punching bag for Punk’s jokes, he’s going to try and one-up the Champion at every turn. The actual CM Punk comes out to confront John, and again calls him dull and uninspired. I think Punk needs a new line, though. It worked when he said Triple H and Vince were out of touch with the crowd, because, well, they were. But Laurinaitis’s bits of the last few weeks have been great and anything but boring. Not to mention that he’s embraced his general blandness as a character point, so to comment on it isn’t breaking the fourth wall anymore so much as just talking about the character.

Laurinaitis explains to Punk that his faux entrance was an homage to Punk, and furthermore, he’s going to give Punk a Christmas present: he gets the night off! In his hometown of Chicago. Come on, that’s brilliant. Punk is not impressed, and says that the only present John can expect from him is a kick in the face. I’m more lenient about Punk being the aggressive good guy than I am with Cena, if only because their character types and motivations are so different. Well, this rubs John the wrong way, and announces that if Punk wants to compete, he’ll have his fill: the main event is to be a gauntlet match against Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, and Mark Henry. If any of our heels win against Punk, they will earn a title match the next Raw. I always love when the matches actually mean something. Punk agrees to this, but says if he does win against all three, then he wants a fourth match… against John Laurinaitis. This is a miss on two levels. One, Laurinaitis doesn’t have the same heat just yet against Punk to make us want a cathartic beating of him as we would with, say, Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Two, no one wants to see this match happen, and the idea of Punk trying to have a match the audience doesn’t want makes it seem like he has a disconnect, when the whole idea of his character right now is that he’s listening to the fans. Alas.

Speaking of matches I’m not certain I wanted, our opening match is Booker T vs. Cody Rhodes in a non title match. Now, when I say I’m not certain I wanted to see this, that isn’t a slight against Booker, who’s still in pretty solid shape. It’s just that I really want Cody Rhodes to get a storyline with someone on the current roster who can really help put him over. In spite of my hesitiation, though, this match was actually pretty solid. It reminded me a bit of the Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat match, where the young heel is doing a ton of selling and most of the moving around so the older face doesn’t exhaust themselves. And even then, it wasn’t a one sided affair: Cody still got in some decent counters and offensive moments. The pacing was very good, though near the end, Booker looked noticeably tired out. What bothers me, though, is the ending, in which Booker beats Cody cleanly. Again, nothing against Booker, but this doesn’t really benefit Cody in any way. I was under the impression that he was the one that was going to be put over in this feud, and though I’m not certain this is the end of things, it doesn’t make him look that great in the long run.

A match up I am quite happy with, however, is the mixed tag match of Zack Ryder and Eve vs. Tyson Kidd and Natalya. Both Eve and Natalya continue to be underused commodities, and even the slightest hint of screen time is a good thing. Furthermore, this match doesn’t tie into the Divas of Doom angle that Beth and Nattie were doing, so it can be about actual wrestling and not about name calling. Also, first time I’ve seen Tyson Kidd in an incredibly long time. And, happily, this match is very good. Both members of each team get time in the ring to show off, and Eve and Zack have great chemistry together. Eve is amusingly tolerant of Zack, who, of course, thinks Eve is totally into him. The good guys win, and when Zack tries to go for a hug, Eve sort of just avoids contact. I like that the action isn’t made out to be bitchy or anything; it’s a good piece of comedic timing, and Eve does a good straight man in this comedy duo. All in all, a very good segment.

Backstage, David Otunga is complaining to Laurinaitis that he keeps getting beat up every time he’s on the show (hey, he’s a lawyer on a wrestling program. What was he expecting?) However, unbeknownst to David, the Big Show appears behind him, and indicates that Otunga is a wimp, and that Show could beat him with one hand tied behind his back. Laurinaitis, being the spontaneous fellow he is, takes Show up on this bet, and announce that will fight Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I’m not looking forward to this, and neither should you.

We cut to another segment, this time in the ring, as Cena comes out to address the beating he took from Kane last week. There’s honestly not much to it, really: Cena just remarks that this generally makes him unhappy. But then, what else can you say, really? Cena then asks Kane to come out settle things, but instead, he gets the Miz. Miz tells us that everyone seems to have forgotten that he was the one who walked out of Wrestlemania as WWE Champion, fought the Rock, Triple H, and others of importance. As such, he wants to make sure that the last we see of the MIz in 2011 is him once again defeating Cena in a match. Luckily, Cena fights in his shorts, so he’s always ready for a match. But, sadly, the match itself isn’t that great. It’s only about two minutes of Cena beating up Miz, who finally has enough and gets himself disqualified. None too happy about the ending, mainly because Miz’s sudden mood swing about having a match is not only horribly inconsistent, but there’s not much point in spontaneously announcing a match and then just sort of not having it, especially given what happens next. Miz is about to walk away, when suddenly, R-Truth returns, who, we’ll remember, was sidelined by the Miz after Survivor Series. If they just wanted to have a Miz/Truth confrontation, why did they bother starting a match, and not just have Truth interrupt Miz mid-promo? Anyways, Truth, though fighting a heel, doesn’t appear to be a face again, as he’s still blatantly crazy, and begins to madly maim the Miz. Cena sort of just disappears. Just to make sure everyone is aware that Truth is still nuts, he tells Miz that he could end this right now, but instead, he’s going to drag out his revenge week after week. I’m really glad they didn’t just go the route of suddenly turning Truth face just because he’s fighting the Miz. It might be hard to root for a heel, even if he’s in the right in wrestling-morality terms, but so much work went into making his heel turn fantastic that it would be a shame to scrap it.

Our next match is David Otunga vs. the Big Show, who has one arm tied behind his back. As you might expect, things get slow pretty quick. Show, of course, can’t exactly hit a bunch of moves with one arm, and Otunga has a few problems of his own. I don’t know if it’s just because he was fighting a giant, and couldn’t really hit a lot of moves, but he really relies on punches and kicks. Unlike Sheamus, Otunga doesn’t have the same sense of timing or personality with his brawling, and it doesn’t helps matters that the match is a beat down, so all he can do is keep delivering those punches and kicks to a lifeless opponent, which soon becomes monotonous. Things are kept short though, Mark Henry begins to walk towards the ring, which never bodes well. It would appear that the Big Show has been set up, and with one hand not working, is about to receive a savage beating until Daniel Bryan appears at ringside to distract the World’s Strongest Man. I suppose that if I didn’t really want Show to Superman it and just crush everything in his path until he gets the title back, I would appreciate the effort to make Bryan more heroic in the eyes of the audience as he tries to bail out Show, just as Show did against Swagger. Show takes advantage of the situation, and although Henry manages to bail before getting his comeuppance, Otunga is still unluckily in the ring, and gets Chokeslammed for his trouble. As long as Show gets to Chokeslam someone, I’m relatively happy.

More unhappy news hits, as Alberto Del Rio is wheeled out in a wheel chair. I love that his wheel chair is gold; just because you’re injured doesn’t mean you don’t have class. It would appear that Del Rio tore his groin in last weeks’ match, which sounds ridiculously painful. Lest we feel too sorry for him, though, the Aristocrat calls the audience peasants and generally insults him. There’s the millionaire we all know and love to despise. I’m a bit bummed that Del Rio is out for a bit, especially as we get closer to Wrestlemania (his match was the best at last year’s event, no matter what Triple H tries to get us to believe. Sorry, Hunter: you’re match was just okay). There’s another bit where the Bella twins fawn over him, which is kind of pointless and not that funny, until Alberto tells them just to shut up. But, he tells us, he will be back, and more dominating than ever. I certainly hope so (#DelRioFan).

And now, on to our main event: a gauntlet match between CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger, then Dolph Ziggler, then Mark Henry (unless, of course, one of the men defeats him prior). The thing I usually don’t like about gauntlet matches is that there’s a 95% chance that the one man will beat the first two guys, and the only suspense is in whether or not he will beat the last. However, as we shall see, this match is better than that. The opening match of Swagger vs. Punk is good, but short. I would like to see a longer one on one match between these two, because if Punk wants to make the case that he’s the best wrestler in the WWE, I think Swagger could at least match him (if not personality wise). There’s a lot of grappling, and the speed is kept up very well. The ending is a bit lame, with Punk just kicking Swagger in the head to get the pin, but I guess you can’t hit a finisher every time, especially when you’re potentially having three matches in a row.

The second man up is Dolph Ziggler, who continues to be impressively awesome. Not only does he have the moves and personality, but he’s got a great sense of in ring timing. This match has a lot of near falls and fake finishes, and feels like you’re watching a wholly new match, rather than just the second in a series. There’s tension, there’s drama, there’s a back and forth of momentum; it’s very solidly put together. Things gets more interesting, though, as Vickie Guerrero blatantly puts Ziggler’s foot on the bottom rope to break up a near fall. In response, John Laurinaitis appears to talk to the ref and make sure that he knows exactly what’s going on, and sees to it that Vickie and Swagger are banned from ring side. Of course, while doing this, Punk has hit Ziggler with the GTS, and pins him, but the ref is distracted by the GM. This, I think, is the best piece of villainy that Laurinaitis has against Punk thus far: he’s blatantly screwed him over, but didn’t actually do anything wrong, and in fact is theoretically helping Punk by having Vickie banned. Also, having Laurinaitis get one up on Punk makes the rivalry and storyline more interesting: there are consequences to Punk’s actions, rather than him just coming out every week and insulting John without anything bad happening to him. Not to mention that his fight against authority is better when the authority he’s fighting against is credible, active, and not just a pushover. While Punk is staring agog at these proceedings, Dolph hits the Zig Zag from behind, and gets the pin, earning a title match. It’s just as well they didn’t get to the Mark Henry match, given his injury, as well as avoiding a squash match that no one wanted.

In a strange turn of events, however, the main event is not what we end the show on. The last Raw of 2011 will be seen off by Kane, who comes out to the ring to explain his actions of the past few weeks. There’s an awesome moment as it looks like Cena is about to rush the ramp to attack Kane, but Kane summons a wall of fire to halt Cena in his path. I’m a sucker for magical powers in wrestling; I don’t care if it’s gimmicky, it still looks cool. Kane tells Cena that he despises the message our hero is giving to people: Rise above hate. The Monster expositions about how all people are born of hate, and by exposition, I don’t mean synonym for talking. Kane just starts monologueing on the subject of hate. Now, I love Kane, and I love Kane’s promo skills, but this one really does drag on for a goodly while. Finally, Kane gets to the point that his new goal is to get Cena to embrace his anger, rather than fighting it, and gets the Chicago crowd, who are no lovers of Cena, to start a “Cena sucks!” chant. The interesting part here is that Cena, rather than bouncing back and schooling Kane, stays at the top of the ramp and looks almost disturbed and saddened. I really love that they’re playing with Cena’s character in this fashion: he’s always said that he doesn’t mind when people boo him, as he’s pro-freedom of speech, and yet over the last few months, there have been hints that this might be getting to him. Given that this is the first character development Cena has had in years, I’m very excited. I really like the guy, and I’m glad that he’s getting a very interesting story instead of just beating up the heel of the month.

And that was the last Raw od 2011. All in all, I liked the show. Most of the mid card matches were on the short side, but they weren’t that bad. The mixed tag match was fun, the Booker/Cody match was a pleasant surprise, Punk’s two matches were both good, and I like where they’re going with Cena’s character.

The (Big) Show Must Go On

A belated Merry Christmas as we take a look at last Friday’s Smackdown.

The show opens with the Big Show coming out to the ring to address the shenanigans which occurred at TLC. Again, I love the acting job that Show does here. He really looks and sounds the part of being upset. Obviously, he’s still conflicted about how he feels regarding Daniel Bryan swooping in and stealing his title (I know how /I/ feel about it, but more on that later). Unfortunately for Show, Mark Henry is far less torn about what he feels like. He’s happy with absolutely no one, and mocks Big Show for having the shortest title reign in the history of the WWE. Incidentally, I don’t think that’s true, as the same sort of scenario occurred against Jeff Hardy in 2009, but I’ll let it slide. And, finally, out comes Daniel Bryan, our new World Heavyweight Champion, and I’m sorry if this is going to sound harsh, but his general blandness is only emphasized in this ring by the Big Show’s personal turmoil, and Mark Henry’s sheer anger. Not to mention that Bryan then does the worst thing you can do in a situation like this, and start listing off things he’s not: he says he’s not the biggest, strongest, most charismatic, handsome, etc. But what he is, however, is a very good wrestler and our World Heavyweight Champion. And that right there kind of sums up what I think of the guy: he’s a very good wrestler, and not much else. He’s kind of plucky, I guess, but the big, big problem with Daniel Bryan is that his sole motivation and character arc was to prove the haters wrong. Well, he got to the WWE, and he’s now the Champion. Arc completed. Now what? What does he really have left to do? Obviously, staying Champion comes to mind, but he’s at his most compelling when he’s battling odds and trying to rise to the top. Once he’s at the top, his main source of motivation is gone. In my mind, Bryan falls into the same trap as the Hardys: they are at their best when they’re losing, because everyone wants to see them succeed.

Also worth saying is that, much like the Orton/Christian situation earlier in the year, my sympathies are entirely with the Big Show in this story. He’s the one who came back from an inury. He’s the one who finally managed to stop the previously invincible monster of Mark Henry. He’s waited nearly a decade for another championship reign. He’s the one who has spent months saving Daniel Bryan from said Mark Henry. All Bryan has done is screw over the guy who’s been saving his ass for months, and the idea that I support this action presupposes that I was a fan to begin with, and thus wanted him to cash in the briefcase against anybody at any time. It doesn’t help that Big Show is way more entertaining than Bryan, thus further driving a wedge between me and our new Champion.

Both Big Show and Mark Henry start arguing about who’s going to be first in line for a rematch (given that they both have equal claim to the belt), when out comes Teddy Long, as he is wont to do in these situations, and he explains that the two of them will have a match later tonight to decide who is first in line to fight Daniel Bryan. Just a heads up: the payoff to this setup isn’t the best.

Our first match of the night, however, is a very good set up: a Champion vs. Champion match, with US Champion Zack Ryder vs. IC Champion Cody Rhodes. I’m glad that the two mid card belts have been given to two guys who obviously have talent, charisma, and are likely to go places, rather than just sticking them onto a random big man they’re trying to push and hoping that the audience buys it. I also would like to say that although Ryder is known primarily for his internet show and his catchphrases, the guy really is pretty solid in the ring; he’s definitely not all flash and no substance. And as such, this match is very, very good, and a good opener for any show. Both men work speedily, neither man is lost, and both bring their personalities into the ring so that there’s more life and entertainment to the events. It looks like Cody has things wrapped up when something very strange happens (and I don’t mean “strange” in a figurative preamble. I mean it’s weird). Booker T, who has been having something of a feud with Cody, stands up on his chair,  grabs a microphone, and starts singing a rendition of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Now, I’ve come to expect insanity from Booker, but even this was a bit odd. I get that he’s trying to distract Rhodes, but, I don’t know, calling him names might have sufficed. Not to mention the fact that Cody does indeed become distracted makes him look a little odd, because really, couldn’t he just tune out the noise? Ryder hits the Rough Ryder on the confused Cody and gets the win. I don’t think this segment was as strong as it could have been. Ryder keeps winning based on outside interference, and that doesn’t really help his credit, especially considering that the match he was having was good enough on its own that he could have won clean and been even more impressive. Also, I’m annoyed that Cody is still kind of stuck feuding with Booker T. Nothing against Booker, but I’m kind of tired of the announcers being put in the spotlight when there’s plenty of wrestlers waiting in the wings.

Backstage, Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler confront Teddy Long and, of all things for a heel to do, demand a match against the World Heavyweight Champion. I love that Dolph is being put over as ultra-confident and able, and isn’t worried about a little competition, as he’s just that good. Also, would like to point out that this match is coming about because of action and charisma on the part of Ziggler, not Bryan. And yes, I’m going to continue to be critical of Daniel Bryan. I’ve spent the better part of the year heaping the same criticisms on Randy Orton, and just because Bryan can actually wrestle doesn’t mean he doesn’t have many of the same problems.

Our next match is to be out #1 Contender Match between Big Show and Mark Henry… sort of. We go through the entrances, the two of them stand in the ring, and then David Otunga shows up to inform the audience that Mark Henry has not, in fact, been medically cleared to compete, as his ankle is still screwed up. I guess that proves that his injury was legit, and makes it all the more impressive that he’s been performing on it for the last month. Props to Henry for being outraged that he’s being sidelined: his monster heel character is at its best when he thinks he’s invincible. The question, of course, is why did this have to be done in the ring right before the match started, rather than backstage or at the beginning of the show. To go through the entrances and set up a match that wasn’t going to happen anyways comes off as a waste of time (it’s not going to be the last time tonight either). Big Show punches out Otunga, which is always fun, and is our #1 Contender.

More odd happenings occur backstage, as the Miz suddenly appears before Teddy Long and announces that he’s here. Teddy, along with the rest of us, blink for a bit before Miz explains he received a text that said he was needed on Smackdown. Teddy knows nothing of this, leading the Miz to criticize Teddy for not knowing how to run his show. The Miz is right, but I do hope this mysterious message business goes somewhere and isn’t abruptly forgotten (one day, I will demand the WWE reveals who the hell the Anonymous GM Morally Ambiguous Laptop was). Furthermore, Miz declares he’s going to go wait in the ring and stop the show until he gets a match. And, indeed, he does so, until finally, someone answers his challenge, and that someone is Sheamus. Oh, Miz: heels should never offer open challenges. Not to mention that the match is a little disappointing. It’s not really a squash match, as Miz gets in a few good hits, but a good chunk of it is just Sheamus pounding on Miz. Though it’s worth saying again that Sheamus’s matches, in spite of being mostly punching, are entertaining. They’re speedy, the pacing is well done, Sheamus has good facial and body expressions, and you can find yourself rooting for him. Sheamus wins, and I realize this is the second time in a week Sheamus has had a match that doesn’t really mean anything to him personally. I hope he gets a storyline soon.

Know what kills time better than anything? Montage segments. Now, I know that montages and clips are an integral part of wrestling, so that we can remember what happened last week, but I prefer them when they happen right before commercials, not actually stopping the show to display them. As such, no matter how much I like Wade Barrett, his hijacking of about six minutes to show off clips of him beating up Randy Orton come off as a bit of a waste of time. Nothing develops from this, as far as Wade goes, as we’re just reliving his success, rather than embellishing or enhancing it. Eventually, Randy Orton becomes annoyed with these clips, and comes out to chase Barrett about the building, eventually leading to the pair of them going to the parking lot, where Orton RKOs Barrett on top of a car. I’m not a big fan of backstage beatdowns, because, once again, they waste time, not adding much except for a bit of catharsis as we see the heel be smacked around, and even then, if we were going to have that, I’d rather just have a regular match.

Just realized that this blog criticizes Daniel Bryan, while saying very little about Randy Orton. My, how times have changed.

The next match is Kofi Kingston vs. Primo, as we’re set to build a rivalry between both men’s tag teams. I can’t believe that we’re actually having development in the tag division again. Truly, this is a happy day. True enough to both men’s styles, the action is very fast, with a lot of high flying and flash. I’m also happy that Kofi gets some singles screen time: he really is an underappreciated commodity, and I desperately hope that one day he can get both a storyline and a push (and hopefully some mic time. He never gets to talk much, but when he does, he really seems eloquent). Kofi wins the match, and it looks like Air Boom has the edge thus far.

And now, onto our main event: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler. Now, in spite of all my criticisms, you really can’t take away from the fact that Bryan is a good wrestler. The match he had with Dolph back at Bragging Rights 2010 is still one of my favorites. The difference from then to now is that both men are at the main event level, and out of the two, Dolph looks more comfortable in character and style. At any rate, two do indeed put on a pretty good show, until Vickie’s other stable member, Jack Swagger, appears at ringside to doubtlessly do something diabolical. However, out comes Big Show to even the odds, and seriously, how nice is Big Show here? Bryan totally screwed him over, and he doesn’t really need to help him, but here Show is doing the right thing. I swear, if they do try and turn him heel out of all this, I will erupt just as much, if not more, than I did when Christian lost his belt. Things appear to be getting out of control, when Teddy steps in and demands that the match be restarted, this time as a tag match of good guys vs. bad guys. I really hate when the match changes half way through. Why wouldn’t you just announce the match as a tag prior to starting it? The tag match isn’t quite as good as I’d hoped. It seems to fall into the classic “peril then hot tag” scenario, with Bryan getting beat up, tagging in Show, who saves the day, then tags Bryan back in so he can force Swagger to tap out. All in all, a bit disappointing for a main event. Bryan would have earned some much needed credibility if he had won on his own against a more than equal opponent in Ziggler. Not to mention that the plot twist only puts me further in Big Show’s corner, as far as sympathies go. Also, kind of sucks for Swagger, who’s become Dolph’s fall boy. The one good thing that I do believe could come out of Bryan’s reign as champion is that you can begin to pit other upper mid carders against him, and it would be believable, as they’re all on the same tier now (unlike, say, Triple H vs. Zack Ryder, or Swagger vs. Undertaker), and thus you can start bringing the midcarders up to main even level.

Thus Smackdown. It was a bit of an odd episode, with some strange turns and filler. The Ryder/Rhodes match was good, as was Kofi/Primo, but the rest of the show seemed a bit underwhelming. However, I am behind how much of a push the younger crowd is getting now, and that the writers are setting them up to be stronger. And hey, if Bryan can become compelling, I might even tolerate him (after all, Ziggler used to be kind of boring too, and look at where he is now).

New Kids on the Block

The first Monday Night Raw after TLC,  and eventually, leading to Wrestlemania. How is the WWE going to get this party started?

The show starts, oddly enough, with the lights down and a drumroll sounding over the speakers. The voice of CM Punk sounds as he announces who won at TLC in between him, Del Rio, and the Miz, all in an Oscar-esque style. Once revealing he won, Punk goes to the ring and does the same set up twice more, once to announce Zack Ryder’s win against Dolph Ziggler to become the US Champion, and again to announce Daniel Bryan cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase against the Big Show to become World Heavyweight Champion. I’m not certain that the elongated drumrolls an attempted suspense prior to the revelations was really necessary. I know they were going for an awards show motif, but everyone at the arena probably knew who won at TLC, and thus the dragging out of telling us what we know seemed like padding. The three then discuss how none of them were ever expected to be champions of the WWE, and while I do sympathize and am happy that all three men get to revel in their success, the segment kind of came off as a bit too self-congratulating: there seemed to be an undertone of “I was right, and everyone else was wrong” to it, which, while true, seems a bit too smug for the good guys. Admittedly, that’s probably just me reading it the wrong way.

But you can’t have a good guy get together without having a heel interruption, and true enough, out comes Miz, Del Rio, and Dolph Ziggler, all looking mightily upset. Dolph looks odd without his US Championship around his waist. The three heels don’t stop to banter, and proceed to march to the ring with a purpose. Unfortunately, they don’t do a very good job: Dolph fails an attempt at attacking Ryder and gets thrown back out of the ring, and then the three heels huddle as if planning, until Ryder leaps over the tope rope at them. I really don’t know what Team Heel were supposed to be discussing here in their group meeting: I know it’s a set up for the Ryder move, but there should at least be a kind of purpose behind it. At any rate, Punk and Bryan rush out of the ring and start attacking. I do like how the faces aren’t going to meekly allow the heels to beat up on them: it shows that they’re tougher than the average Joe, and as the name of the game is trying to make me care about Daniel Bryan as a Champion, having him actively doing something heroic is a good start. Team Heel beats a swift retreat, tailed by the good guys, until John Laurinaitis steps in. I adore how Miz runs back stage, and once Laurinaitis comes out, he stands behind him and starts taunting Punk, as if he’s the one being held back. Awesome classic heel stuff. Laurinaitis does what any sane GM would do in this position, and declare the main event of Raw to be a six man tag match between Bryan, Punk, and Ryder vs. ZIggler, Miz, and Del Rio. Two things to note here. First, I like how Raw is going the Smackdown approach and announcing the main event at the beginning of the show  via storyline, as there is more motivation and character presence in the set up and thus more interest from the audience. Second, it’s a main event on Monday Night Raw without Orton, Cena, or Triple H. When was the last time that happened? It’s definitely a good way to start putting over the next generation by making the show more about them.

Our first match of the night, however, is Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton. I generally dislike how Raw disregards the brand extension and uses the big stars from both shows. The favor is rarely returned to Smackdown, and also, a good chunk of the mid card doesn’t get screen time as a result. At any rate, this is a surprisingly good match. The pacing is kept up to a good speed, and I don’t know if it’s because he’s no longer at the main event level or not, but Orton seems more comfortable in his matches as of late. It might be because he doesn’t have to be the ultimate good guy, and thus doesn’t have to constantly make himself look like Superman. He seems more content to go out there and just have a match, rather than developing his Viper persona. Barrett looks good here too, and even though he has a limited range of moves, he knows when to use them and how to get the most pop out of them. What stands out here is the ending: Wade gets DQ’d by thumbing Orton in the eye, which, in times past, would mean that Wade gets a win on his resume but Orton still gets to go crazy, maim the guy, and look cool. Not so here. After getting DQ’d, Barrett continues to brutalize Randy, eventually sending him through a table with Wasteland. Two potential things to be read from this. One, that this is a way for Barrett to keep face after losing to Orton at TLC. Two, putting Barrett over and making him look dominant for a potential run at the World Heavyweight Championship. Either way, Wade Barrett looks good here, and Orton does not. If that’s not a sign that the times, they are a-changing, I don’t know what is.

Things that are definitely not changing, however, are the Diva matches. Beth Phoenix is still our Diva’s Champion, but unlike the efforts to put over the three male champions earlier in the show, the booking department seems more inclined to bury Beth. She’s fighting Alicia Fox tonight, who has taken to wearing a fur headdress of a fox. I’m a bit surprised the animal rights activists haven’t already nixed this, but maybe they don’t watch wrestling. Also, Alicia has this strange element to her that she simply cannot just walk. She slinks, glides, and looks like she’s made of some kind of spaghetti as she moves. She’s constantly writhing, and while I’m sure she thinks this is a turn on for men, it’s kind of creepy to watch, even moreso with the disembodied head of a fox on her noggin. The match starts, and as it’s only about two minutes long, the first minute is Beth getting on top, and then the second minute is Alicia coming back. The ending was probably the most anticlimactic thing you could imagine: apparently, Alicia has a new finisher where she performs a front flip into a leg drop on the opponents head… but no one realized this was her finisher. As such, when she hit it and got the pin, everyone in the audience seemed more confused about what just happened and why Beth was laid out like that. Also slightly painful was that Alicia got a mic after the match, and, with a massive smile, asked us all to have a “Foxy Christmas.” In and of itself, it’s not bad, but looking at her expression and her body language, you get the impression she thought she just dropped the cleverest line of the night. Alicia, I like you, you’re funny, but you’re just getting odder and odder.

I’m also sad to say that Jinder Majal is still here, and still desperately trying to be a serious bad guy without actually bringing much personality or character to the table. They keep trying to have him strike up rivalries, but his sole motivation is always “You’re a peasant, and I’m rich, so I hate you.” Compare that to Del Rio, who revels in how much a rich jerk he’s being and will smile about it, and you can see that the talking point all alone doesn’t hold up. He’s having a match against Sheamus, who’s confident grin indicates he’s not too intimidated by Jinder’s attempts at being pithy. The match itself is better than I thought it would be, with more give and take and a very steady and fast pacing. I believe this is the first time I’ve seen Jinder in a non-squash match, either with him doing the squashing or being on the receiving end. But Jinder is no match for Sheamus, who hits him with the Celtic Cross to win. It wasn’t a bad segment, but I don’t see the real point of it. It makes Sheamus look tough and Jinder look sucky, but we knew that already. Hopefully, they can cook up a better feud for Sheamus in the future.

Speaking of developing storylines, the show now goes on to address the Chokeslam that Cena received from Kane last week. Cena comes out to the ring, and says that he’s not too certain why exactly Kane attacked him, as they have no business. If he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, then everyone can live happily ever after. I love that Cena totally understands that Kane has violent bursts of rage, and is willing to overlook it. Mark Henry comes out, still wearing a cast around his ankle, and I’m temporarily confused as to why he’s here instead of in a Daniel Bryan or Big Show segment until I remember that he’s the one who injured Kane all those months ago. I also wonder how legit Henry’s injury might be, and whether that’s why they had him drop the belt. Henry says that Cena has no business being out here, while the World’s Strongest Man has business addressing his loss at TLC. I’m glad they gave Henry a good reason for being present, though again, it would make more sense if any of the people who actually screwed him over were present. However, Mark doesn’t get to air his grievances, because who should enter but Kane, back in his mask after long last, and also with his old theme music. Kane walks right by Cena and heads for Mark Henry, who’s asking for mercy due to the fact he’s injured. I don’t really like when Mark has to plead, as I really love when he’s just a tough guy who will take all comers, but I suppose if Kane had half a mind to kill me, I’d be begging for mercy too. At any rate, it doesn’t look like Kane is interested in Mark at all, and goes after Cena. This segment played out nicely, as you really do start wondering who Kane’s going to attack, and raises the tension. Cena, however, is ready as always and gets a few shots in against Kane before having the Big Red Monster take him down a notch. Again, I like how Cena is being presented as more human: it makes him more identifiable to the audience, and the trouble he gets in more interesting, as you don’t know whether he’ll pull a Superman or not. Kane brutalizes Cena for a bit before more or less choking him on the announce table, which I thought was a banned move (it got Daniel Bryan fired, anyways). Kane gets bored of this, and settles for stealing Cena’s shirt before leaving. Not sure where we’re going with the shirt thing, but I like it when Kane has some deep dark intent that no one else gets.

Happily, it looks like the WWE is starting to take its tag teams seriously again, as we have a match between the Uso Brothers vs. Epico and Primo. Not two random wrestlers being thrown together, but actual tag teams. I really love the Uso’s entrance: that war chant really pumps up the crowd and instantly gets you on their side. On the flip side, Epico and Primo are a little bland. They’re just your run of the mill grumpy heels, but at least they wrestle very well. And not only do we have an actual tag match, but it’s a great tag match. There’s a lot of double teaming, the action is fast, and they don’t just run out the “one team member in peril, waiting to make the hot tag.” The tags are often and fast, and dang, I’m just excited to have the semblance of a tag division again, with people who actually know what they’re doing. Primo eventually hits a rather awkward Backstabber, and his team gets the win. I was pulling for the Usos, but it makes sense that a heel team would win with Air Boom as the current champions. Hope for good things!

Sadly, things take a quick downturn as our next match is Cody Rhodes versus Santino Marella. The problem I have with Santino is that his jobbing doesn’t even do the job of putting the other guy over. He’s become such a weak character that beating him doesn’t mean anything. Cody wins, and no one is surprised. Much like Sheamus, I hope they give Cody a decent storyline and rivalry soon.

Prior to the main event, we have a short interview with the Big Show, who is obviously upset about having the World Heavyweight Championship stolen from him. I really liked Show’s acting in this segment: he looks and sounds like a man who has worked very hard for something, only to have it snatched away. He doesn’t go for any of the clichés of either yelling too much, or trying to be indifferent. HE looks genuinely crushed, and you really feel sorry for him. I especially like how Show seems to know that he was the one who tried to pressure Bryan into using his briefcase before Wrestlemania, and thus has an extra amount of angst piled on. I’m assuming that this will lead to a Big Show heel turn against Bryan, but I like how they’re going with it by developing character and motivation and easing into things. Also, he doesn’t punch Josh when he brings up that a title reign that took nine years to get to, and only lasted five minutes, so there’s still good in Big Show yet.

And now, on to our main event: Dolph Ziggler, the Miz, and Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan, Zack Ryder, and CM Punk. True to their “For the people, by the people” attitude, the three faces enter through the crowd entrances, rather than the ramp. It’s a neat touch and a good throw back to ECW. The match itself, however, is surprisingly basic. After a quick flurry of offense by the good guys, the heels manage to isolate Daniel Bryan, and beat up on him until he makes the hot tag to Ryder, who in turn winds up in peril, and then Punk gets in and cleans house. It’s your standard good vs. bad tag match, and a bit disappointing when you consider the wrestling ability of all of these men. I was hoping for more tags and more chances for multiple one on one match ups, but alas. Bryan gets tagged in at the end and forces Del Rio to tap out with the crossface. I’m happy that Bryan was the one who got to finish things off, because out of all of them, he’s the one who needs to be put over as dominating.

So that’s our first Raw of the season, and it was surprisingly good. There were a couple of down moments with Santino, Jinder Majal, and Alicia Fox’s continuing oddities, but those were brief and didn’t take the whole show down. Barrett’s win signals good things to come, I’m all for the story with Kane and Cena, the tag match was great, and even if the main event wasn’t stellar, it was still a sign that there’s new main eventers on the block, and the WWE intends to use them.

Kick Off: Road to Wrestlemania 28

With the final PPV of 2011 now over, we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania, which will take us through the Royal Rumble, the Elimination Chamber, and end at Wrestlemania 28. I look forward to these next three months like most sane people look forward to the football season. As such, I’ll be resuming my episodic recaps of the main shows, in order to see how things develop.

Now, having stopped my regular episode reviews immediately after Money in the Bank, there has been a great many things and developments which have occurred that barely seem to make sense if the last time you watched the WWE was in August. As such, before beginning the episode reviews again, I’m going to do what I did when I first started this blog, and provide a helpful glossary telling you who is still important, what they’ve been up to, and where they’re going.

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Alberto Del Rio: Everyone’s favorite smug millionaire had the best of times, and the worst of times. The best of times include him winning the Royal Rumble, highlighting Wrestlemania with his match against Edge, winning Raw’s Money in the Bank, and cashing it in on CM Punk to become the WWE Champion. The worst of times, oddly, was his reign as champion. It was a bit of a weak run, as the crowd couldn’t really Del Rio’s fault: he fell victim to the same thing that happened with Sheamus and Jack Swagger. They all got put in the driver’s seat too soon, without having the support or interest of the audience, and kind of floundered once they were there. But, Del Rio is still in the thick of things, and still a fantastically conceited, arrogant, self-promoting jerk. I love Del Rio.

Alex Riley: I’m only including Alex here because he was still important when I last blogged. Since then, he has oddly disappeared from the show, in spite of being over with the crowd.

Big Show: Big Show has been something of the main good guy for Smackdown for the last few months. Mark Henry broke his ankle at Money in the Bank, and though he was sidelined for a few months, he returned to exact his vengeance on the World’s Strongest Man, in a feud that lasted about two months. Show did finally beat Mark Henry at TLC, and became the World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in nearly a decade, but only seconds later, Daniel Bryan cashed in the Smackdown Money in the Bank briefcase to pin a worn out Show and steal the title. One of these two has to turn heel, and my money is going to be on Show, but we’ll see.

Christian: After spending most of this year feuding with Orton, Christian finally looked like he was going to be able to expand his horizons, but has wound up getting injured. He was last seen at the Slammy Award show in a neck brace and a crutch, doing his great whiny heel thing about how the mere fact he was even present meant that he should not only be Superstar of the Year, but still deserves one more chance. Hopefully, he’ll be back in action before Wrestlemania.

CM Punk: Oh, man. If the last time you saw Punk was at the time I stopped blogging, then you will be incredibly lost and confused as to where Punk is now. So Punk wound up making good on his pledge to win the WWE Championship on the night where his contract expired, and dashed out of the arena with the belt, with much applause from the crowd. For a few weeks after, you could see Punk on the indy circuit, or on internet shows, until finally, he asked to be signed back on to the show, the reason being that if he truly wanted to change the WWE, he would have to still be part of it. And in a rare piece of awareness as to what the crowd wanted, the WWE made Punk into a protagonist almost on the same promotional level as Cena, only with more of an attitude and a bit edgier (really, his kind of heroism is similar to what Cena’s was earlier in his career, only with less rapping and more wrestling). Since then, he’s fought Cena in a hero vs. anti hero story arc, rebelled against Triple H’s authority, won his title back from Alberto Del Rio, all while having an anti-authority issue with Raw’s GM, John Laurinitis.

Cody Rhodes: My, Cody has to be confused by now. He’s gone from being dashing, to not dashing, to insane, to passive aggressive. After a feud with Orton through the fall, Cody lost his mask, and now claims to be more mentally stable, though his sporadic acts of violence and maniacal laughing fits would indicate otherwise. He’s still the Intercontinental Champion.

Daniel Bryan: The six months in between winning Money in the Bank and becoming the World Heavyweight Championship have been kind of “meh” with Mr. Bryan. He hasn’t really been at the forefront of too much, and still hasn’t developed much of a personality. They were building a David and Goliath thing between him and Mark Henry, which I thought would carry to Wrestlemania, but that’s apparently nixed as Bryan cashed in his briefcase against Big Show instead. As I said with Show, I think one of these guys has to have a heel turn as a result of these events (no face can attack a face without some kind of repercussion), and I’ll be curious to see how that goes. Also curious to see how they try and actually write a show around a guy who’s still kind of bland.

David Otunga: Otunga has redefined himself since the collapse of Nexus as a lawyer lackey to John Laurinaitis. Like most lackies, he spends most of his time jobbing, but at least he has a personality and a character now.

Dolph Ziggler: Ziggler has constantly improved as this year has gone on. He no longer relies on Vickie to talk for him, and has really fit into his Mr. Perfect-esque role. He keeps putting on great matches while developing his show-off, cocky, snarky character. He’s been pushing towards the top for a while, and I expect him to have a more important match come Wrestlemania than he did last year. He also just lost the U.S. Title to Zack Ryder, and surely revenge or advancement will be in his cards.

Evan Bourne: Evan is still just gosh darn loveable, and is part of the Tag Team Champions with Kofi Kingston. That’s all, but when you’re Evan Bourne, that’s all you need.

Jack Swagger: Swagger has been making a slow but steady comeback in his standings. He joined Vickie’s mini-stable (which only consists of Ziggler and Swagger), but it definitely helped him get more screen time and momentum. He’s spent most of the fall kind of being the number two guy to Dolph, but never as an official sidekick. In fact, they’ve made it plain that they don’t like one another, which has  led to a few fun moments of one-upmanship.

John Cena: Everyone’s favorite ultimate good guy has had something of a rough year, character wise. He lost the WWE Championship to CM Punk, failed again against in his match against Del Rio, and wound up giving up a title match at TLC in order to give Zack Ryder a chance. However, personally, I think this all helps Cena in the long run, and especially leading up to his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania. For the first time in a long time, Cena seems fallible, which makes him more human and more identifiable. His friendship with the up and coming Zack Ryder has made him more endearing to the smarks, and with CM Punk now more or less being the main protagonist of the show, Cena is free to be himself and not be shoved into the main event of everything, thus giving him a much needed break. All of this gives us a fresh Cena to watch, with his current shortcomings giving him motivation to do better, and with the audience more inclined to see him do so.

John Morrison: Morrison is actually no longer with the WWE, opting out of renewing his contract. I’m bummed about that: the guy had the flash, moves, and charisma needed to be a star, but the WWE kept misusing him and didn’t get his full potential. But, he left on relatively good terms, so hopefully he’ll be back some day.

Kane: Kane was injured the night after Money in the Bank by Mark Henry, and has only just returned. In true Kane fashion, however, he returns more insane and twisted than ever, once again donning a mask over his face, just as he did when he was supposed to have been burned. The mask, however, is not his old one, instead being a flat read color and more rusty in color. The only thing he’s done since his return has been to Chokeslam Cena at the Slammy Awards, so we might expect things happening there.

Kofi Kingston: Kofi hasn’t had much of a singles push as of late, but has instead teamed with Evan Bourne to form the Tag Team Champions, Air Boom. The name is admittedly a little silly, but how can you go wrong when you stick two of the best high fliers together, as well as the two who bring the most energy and action into a match?

Mark Henry: The World’s Strongest Man has had a renaissance year since turning heel, once again having the WWE prove me wrong about whether or not I would like something. After injuring Big Show and Kane, he developed a catch phrase known as inducting people into his “Hall  of Pain” and has rolled with being the monster heel better than most of the monsters we’ve had in recent memory. His dialogue is snappier and more clever, and his TV matches are surprisingly good (his cage match with Daniel Bryan was a pleasant surprise). He beat Randy Orton to become WWE Champion at Hell in a Cell, but lost it to Show at TLC. Still, Henry is more relevant now than he has been in years, and I hope he can keep it up.

R-Truth: Truth’s stock has been on the rise since turning crazy. Teaming with the Miz for a few months, the pair of them attacked Triple H and CM Punk, and then main evented Survivor Series against Cena and the Rock. Sadly, Truth is currently suspended for drug usage, but hopefully he’ll be back in time for the Royal Rumble.

Randy Orton: In reverse from Truth, Orton’s stock has gradually fallen. The WWE finally realized that it was difficult to sell Smackdown with Orton has champ, and he lost the World Heavyweight Championship to Mark Henry. Since then, he’s been stuck in a sort of strange limbo, where he’s still considered main even status, but he only fights mid carders. Yet, like Cena, I think this respite from Orton at the top can only help him. He’s been over exposed for a good while, and his character simply isn’t strong enough to write the show around him. He’s been feuding with Wade Barrett lately, and even though he won at TLC, it’s hard to say whether he’s going up the ladder again, or staying put.

Rey Mysterio: Rey’s been oddly absent for a good while with an injury, but wasn’t written out of the show in anyway. He made a cameo at the Slammys, so hopefully he’ll be back soon.

Sheamus: Despite earning a nickname I despise (“The Great White.” What was wrong with “Celtic Warrior?”), Sheamus has made himself into a true fan favorite. People really just enjoy watching him beat up bad guys, partly because he’s one of the few brawlers who can have a really good match without using technical moves, but also because he’s got a great personality. He can be charming and funny one moment, stern and serious the next, so you wind up both liking and fearing the man, and I think that’s what a good wrestling good guy needs to be.

Sin Cara: Poor Sin Cara. He got injured at Money in the Bank, came back, and got injured again at Survivor Series, and is going to be out until the middle of 2012.

Ted Dibiase: Ted’s slate has been wiped clean. That is to say, he’s still Ted Dibiase, son of the Million Dollar Man, but he’s not only a face now, but apparently is no longer a millionaire (though it’s never explained how) and is more of a man for the fans, preferring to hold tail gate parties prior to shows. It should be noted that having connections with the fans doesn’t mean he has a personality.

The Miz: In a sea of Cena, Rock, Punk, and Triple H montages, Miz has managed to keep himself surprisingly relevant, in spite of not being in many title matches. His team with R-Truth was a great plot, as Truth’s insane ramblings about conspiracies mixed with Miz’s ego and the hatred that there were other people getting more screen time than him. And it’s hard to say he hasn’t done much when he’s fighting Triple H and the Rock in PPV matches. After Truth’s suspension (and the plot point of Miz betraying Truth and taking him out of the show), Miz has returned to singles storylines, recently tangling with Punk and Del Rio at TLC.

Triple H: Hunter Hearst Helmsly has found himself in an interesting place. He finally took over for Vince McMahon as Chairman of the Board for the WWE (both in real life, and in the plotline), but apparently didn’t really feel like retiring from in ring action. As such, a good chunk of the major plot lines of the last few months have been centered around him, in spite of the fact that he’s not a day to day wrestler. First there was a matter of Punk getting in his face about being in charge, then the whole locker room walked out on him in a vote of no confidence (which was a cheap way to make Hunter look like an abandoned hero of sorts), and then had the need to fight Miz and R-Truth. Most of all, though, is his bromance fall out with old buddy Kevin Nash, who has turned on him, and the two of them have been dragging on a storyline that no one cares about for the last four months. I wouldn’t mind this so much if either of them were on the show and performing, but they just kind of wait backstage and run montages to let people know they’re important. It’s Triple H’s world, and we only live in it.

The Undertaker: Still missing in action.

Wade Barrett: Barrett has thrived since the dissolution of the Corre. Though still primarily at a mid card level, he has been earning screen time and providing good matches with his usual smug, bullying Britishness. Being able to hold his own with Orton is a good sign, and I’m personally hoping for him to fight Bryan at Wrestlemania, but that’s just me.

Zack Ryder: Boy, if the last few months of inactivity from my blog missed anything, it was the rise of Zack Ryder. Ryder’s character is something of a Jersey Shore-esque club-goer, only a little more goofy and self aware. A former jobber about to lose his job, Ryder started a youtube show which highlighted his misadventures and shortcomings, and slowly garned the mass support of the internet. With this fan base behind him, the WWE was finally forced to put him on the regular shows, and he has since taken off with this push, finally beating Dolph Ziggler for the US Championship.

And thus, with everyone up to speed, we can safely begin the Road to Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania 25: Part 3

After what seems like a long time, we get to our main title matches, and, in theory, the main plotlines of Smackdown and Raw. Unfortunately for the case of Smackdown, there’s something of a shortcoming in the plot department. Our match for the WWE Championship is a Triple Threat between current World Heavyweight Champion Edge, John Cena, and the Big Show. Now, looking at those three names and realizing that they’re three of the biggest stars in the WWE, you might be wondering how this could possibly be that short on story. Well, the answer is actually right there: it’s the three biggest stars in the WWE, and they had to find a way to work them into Wrestlemania, and had to do it quick. So rather than work with plot and actual audience investment, they just threw the three together in a haphazard story and hoped that the star value would make everyone overlook it.

It’s odd that things fall a bit flat, because the plot more or less starts the year before, after Edge gets sent to Hell by the Undertaker (I really need to write a blog discussing that plot…) and Vickie Guerrero is high and dry in the protection department (remember, Vickie is married to Edge at this moment in time). So, she hires the Big Show to more or less be her body guard, until Edge magically reappears (it’s never explained how) to steal the WWE Championship from Triple H, which leads into his feud with Jeff Hardy, etc. All this time, Edge has something of a rivalry with Show, whom he thinks is abusing Vickie’s power as GM (and only Edge may do that!). This character development ties in with the Elimination Chamber and how Edge and Show are taunting one another in the match. Well, of course, Edge loses the WWE Championship, but wins the World Heavyweight Championship in the second Chamber match after pinning Cena. So, in theory, both Show and Cena have legitimate reasons to be upset with Edge. The problem is, as the plot pans out, it’s really just not done that well.

What happens is that it looks like Edge and Big Show are gearing to have a title match… but not because they dislike each other, or that their rivalry is developed on. Rather, they get a match together because Vickie is more or less trying to steal from Peter to pay Paul, and thus gives both of her main men what they want at Wrestlemania. Now, this is a decent means to an end, but the drama here isn’t from the two men involved in the match. It’s from Vickie, and how she’s trying to win either way. This is one of those examples where the extra involvement from a non-wrestler might work in general storyline format, but it detracts from the match itself, because this is not coming about because these men are looking to defeat one another, but because a more or less separate party is making them fight, and thus the emotions are more about doing their jobs than being personal. Things aren’t helped much by the fact that prior to the twist with Cena, Show insists it’s mostly business related, and Edge agrees, so that the apathy of the people involved grows.

The inclusion of Cena only makes the story seem more last minute, confused, and as if someone in the booking department realized, “Oh, heck, we’re going into Wrestlemania and we don’t have Cena. Uh, where do we stick him?” What happens is that Cena hints the episode prior to the official contract signing to make the Edge vs. Big Show match legit that he knows a certain secret of Vickie’s that he will reveal if she does not include him in the match. Now, I know that Cena has always been at least a little grey in spite of his ultimate good guy label, but I’m not really a big fan of him blackmailing his way into a title match. I can’t remember if they played with his rematch clause or not, but really, he could have just used that to get his rematch for his title at Wrestlemania, and there you go. Not to mention that any goodness he had here is negated entirely, as after Vickie does put him in the match, Cena winds up revealing the big secret any ways: Vickie’s been secretly seeing Big Show in a romantic fashion, and the two are cheating on Edge.

The idea that Edge is jealous of Vickie cheating on him doesn’t remotely work, because not only had Edge blatantly married Vickie for the sole purpose of abusing her power, but has also cheated on her prior with Alica Fox (man, remember when Alicia was a wedding planner? How time flies…), and thus isn’t likely to be that incensed that Vickie has been smooching Show. Also, it really does just come off as a weak attempt to insert some drama to make up for the fact that there’s not really a storyline otherwise. Also, it doesn’t really help anyone involved: Edge isn’t likely to be that angry about it, Cena comes off as kind of a jerk, and Big Show is given some baggage which, after this match is over, he can’t really work with to develop.

At any rate, on to the match itself. We actually start off with Chavo wheeling Vickie out to the ringside, which obviously forebodes she will play a part. Now, I’m not wholly against third party involvement in matches, especially if it can play into the plot like with Shawn Michaels vs. JBL, but here, with the plot being meagre at best, I feel that not only is Vickie’s presence not really necessary, but takes away from just letting the three wrestlers work. Edge enters first to his usual firework explosion, and damn, I miss Edge. Big Show enters next, and looks sombre. Again, the Vickie involvement here hurts rather than helps, because the two heels here are focused half on her, half on the match. I’d prefer fully on the match, as it makes the fight itself more focused in what it’s trying to accomplish: is it about the title, or the woman? And, of course, the moment we all really look forward to at Wrestlemania: Cena’s entrance, which are always fun. This year, a small army of Cena lookalikes come out and line the ramp, doing the You Can’t See Me wave as John himself runs down the aisle. I still think it’s the coolest of Cena’s entrances. Not to mention that Cena pumps some life into things, and helps remind us that there is a title at stake, and that he’s eager to go for it. I’m a Big Show fan, but he just doesn’t look that pumped for his title match here, and even Edge is a little less insane than usual.

The bell rings, and just as his energy would suggest, Cena comes out swinging at both men. This only goes so far, as he tries to shoulder tackle Show… and falls over. With Cena prostrate, Edge does what Edge does best, and tries to talk Show into an alliance to beat up Cena. Show, of course, isn’t to thrilled about this, and knocks Edge around. I always love when Edge tries shenigans, only to have them blow up in his face. So Big Show is in control here, and while Edge rolls out of the ring, Show proceeds to lay a beat down on Cena. This isn’t the best way to start the match: beat downs don’t really get the crowd into things, and while I like Big Show, he’s definitely a bit slow here. Also, it’s not utilizing the maximum man power. Things get better after Cena pushes Show out of the ring. Edge kicks the ring steps into Big Show’s leg, and then Cena hits the leg drop from the turnbuckle to the outside. These things are always better when the three men are working together to get a spot. Unfortunately, they go back to where they started, only this time with Edge attacking a prone Cena. To reiterate, the reason beatdowns are dull is because there’s not really any action going on: it’s just one person hitting their moves on a sand bag. No tension, because you know there’s not going to be a counter, and your only using one half of your manpower potential.

However, in fairness, at least the match keeps the beatdowns short, as no sooner does Cena manage to dispose of Edge than he is attacked by Show. Cena finally stops being a punching bag and gets some shots in to Show, eventually tying him in the ring ropes, and then proceeding to attack Edge while Show watches helplessly. I think this is the first time the three men have been in the ring together since the beginning. I should say, at least the momentum is swinging, and each man is getting some time to be on top, but again, their time at the top is a bit lackluster, because the fighting has been more along the lines of each man getting their turn at laying a beatdown rather than earning the top spot by fighting and working for it. Edge accidentally Spears Vickie, who was trying to interfere, so at least her presence was cut short and didn’t take over the whole of the match.

Both Cena and Edge have tuckered out, so it’s time for the Big Show to re-enter the match. Thankfully, he takes advantage of everyone being in the ring, and proceeds to toss both of them around. Show seems more energetic all of a sudden, and turns up the action a bit by assaulting both men in turn, tossing the pair of them into the same turnbuckle, and then sandwiching them both with a running tackle. It’s the first move since the earlier leg drop that used all three men in the match. He Chokeslams Edge, KO’s Cena, but his efforts are stilted as both men wind up tumbling out of the ring. I’m not a big fan of using finishers before the climax, but given the rather methodical pace of things before, you needed some oomph. Speaking of oomph, Show follows Edge to the ringside and tries to Chokeslam him again, but Edge counters into a DDT (again, this is the first time we’ve had a really devastating counter, which gives you an idea of how things have been going), and then takes advantage of this by Spearing Big Show through the barricades. It’s a pretty good moment, as breaking walls is always fun, though we do return to the problem of eliminating one man, and then returning to more or less a one on one match, which is a bit disheartening.

Edge staggers back and drags Cena back into the ring, tries to pin him, but only gets the two count. He then tries to use the Spear, but Cena trips him with a toe hold and then locks him in the STF. I really hate to rag on Cena, because I do consider myself a fan, but the best way to get this match going was definitely not to go for the submission hold. I need more fighting, not more inaction. Big Show returns to break the hold and drag Cena out, and we return once again to a one on one match. I should be fair, though, and say that at least this shift change is quick in execution, so even though there’s not really a ton going on in the ring, it doesn’t feel as methodical as it might otherwise. Big Show threatens a Bonzaie Drop, but misses, and we finally get another true Triple Threat move as both Cena and Edge unite their powers to suplex the Big Show, and then combine again to clothesline him out of the ring. Of course, Edge is Edge, and instantly betrays Cena by kicking him in the head. They fight (actually fight) for a bit, and Cena attempts a leg drop from the turnbuckle, but Show pushes him off, and Edge Spears him in mid air. Before Edge can get the pin, Show drags him off. At this point, the pacing is much better, as we’re not just watching two guys fight while another stays outside, but the powers of all three being constantly used in the match to further the action.

Edge locks a sleeper on Big Show, but Cena comes back to lift the combined weight of both men on his shoulders. I don’t care if you like Cena or not, that’s darned impressive. Edge slinks off, but Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment to Show, and then does the same to Edge. He then pins Big Show, and wins the match, becoming the World Heavyweight Championship. I have a couple problems with this finish: it’s not really built up to, to the point where the AA really caps off a moment of great tension. It comes off after a sleeper, and that really doesn’t amp up the excitement in general, and with Show sort of just tumbling into the move. Also, though this is a bit nitpicky, the second AA to Edge does not have the same impact, either literally or figuratively, as it did with Big Show. The surprise and pop from the crowd came when Cena lifted up the Big Show, and that’s where it should have ended. Taking care of Edge afterwards almost felt like a delay of sorts, rather than being snappy, and doesn’t have the same climactic emphasis as dropping Show. I think it would have been better had Show eliminated Edge prior, and then had Cena take out Show, just to make things a little tidier narrative wise.

That was our World Heavyweight Championship match, and although I might have seen generally negative in my review, I honestly don’t think it was totally bad. Though the lack of back and forth fighting and use of all three men at the same time irritated me, the match did the right thing in keeping this one-on-one segments short and sweet, and kept the momentum going by changing the focus rapidly and giving the impression of movement. Also, though Vickie’s presence may not have been necessary at all, it was at least kept to a minimum. But you still can’t hide the fact that a good portion of the match was just beatdowns and stomping with little countering or putting up a good fight. It should also be noted that this match is really, really short: I doubt it’s much more than ten minutes long, which I think factored in to why the trio aren’t able to work to the best of their ability and have a really good bout. Essentially, they have enough time to get in their signature moves, and not much else, which leads to all of the cons I’ve mentioned prior.

And now, our main event for Wrestlemania 25: Randy Orton vs. Triple H for the WWE Championship. This is going to be one of the few times I use the words “compelling” and “Orton” in a positive relationship to one another. This is one of the better attempts at creating a fleshed out story arc that the WWE has attempted for a while, with rising action and extended tension to make the outcome of events exciting and interesting. What makes it truly work, though, is that the whole thing starts not just at the Royal Rumble, but further back in history, and I’m always excited when wrestling pays attention to its own canon. Way back in 2004, there was the faction of Evolution, starring Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista, and Randy Orton. Orton was the youngest of the lot, and was something of Hunter’s protégé. Orton winds up winning the WWE Championship, thus the youngest champion in history, but rather than embrace his youthful ward, Hunter is consumed with his own greed and lays a beating on Randy, kicking him out of Evolution, and eventually takes the WWE Championship back. I love that you can kind of trace Orton’s eventual insanity to this point. Prior, he’s just cocky, but he slowly becomes more and more angry and obsessed with taking out Triple H.

The part where I think this motivation stumbles is in the execution of Orton’s revenge. During the final build-up to Wrestlemania, they try and pass off Orton’s attacks on the McMahon’s as a well thought out plan in order to get back at Triple H, but really, he kind of seems to stumble into this sequence of events. He didn’t know that Vince was going to be there the show before Raw, he didn’t know that Shane was going to return. Things just kind of worked in his advantage. At any rate, at least his final effort on the McMahon’s can be passed off as cunning, with him finally hitting Stephanie with an RKO the night after No Way Out. Triple H, naturally, is none too happy with Randy assaulting his wife, and the idea that Orton has finally hurt Triple H the same way Hunter hurt Orton really is a good idea. This then leads to a compelling final build-up, with both men trying to get under each other’s skin, an effort which is made more interesting thanks to the previously mentioned backstory. Highlights include Triple H chasing Legacy around the backstage with a sledgehammer, to which Orton replies in the next episode by hand-cuffing Trips to the ringpost and threatening to smash the signature sledgehammer over unless Stephanie (now acting GM of Raw) to come out and save him. Stephanie does so, but of course walks into a trap, where Orton winds up DDTing her, and then kissing her unconscious body while Hunter is forced to watch. It’s a bit creepy, but you know that he’s doing it to piss of Triple H, and it really works. To this, Hunter responds by breaking into Orton’s house and throwing him out of a window. And people thought that going PG meant nothing interesting would happen!

Actually getting to the title match is a bit sloppy, though. After the assault in his house, Orton says that he’s going to have Triple H arrested. Hunter then comes out and, oddly, rubs it in Orton’s face that he betrayed him all those years ago. Uh, Trips? You’re supposed to be the good guy, here. Reminding the audience that you used to be evil, never mind sounding like you’re bragging about it, kind of defeats things. Hunter exposits about how Orton must really want to kill him, and goads him into using the Royal Rumble title shot against Triple H for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. What I don’t get here is why on earth Orton would need convincing, given that this is clearly what he wanted in the first place, or why Triple H is the one bringing it to his attention. At any rate, we finally have our main event match for Wrestlemania 25, and as I said before, the story was mostly compelling, fleshed out over a number of months, played with canon and characters, had a good build that added something new every week, and allowed Orton’s one talent (being angry) to actually make a story better.

Prior to the match, we see Triple H backstage, walking to the ring, when he runs into Shane and Vince. They have a silent stare down, a brief nod, and Hunter goes on his way. It’s a quick little thing, but I think it adds a good deal of depth to things. When you consider how often the three of these men have tried to kill one another, the idea that they’re on the same page for the purpose of defeating Orton is given more resonance.

Before the entrances, we’re reminded that if Triple H is disqualified, he will lose the WWE Championship regardless. The idea behind the implementing of this rule is that Hunter cannot completely lose his temper and actually maim Orton: he has to fight within the rules and beat this man fair and square, no matter how much he hates him. It’s a good stipulation, as it makes count-outs seem more threatening, and gives multiple potential endings , thus making the events in the match have more weight. After the announcement, Orton comes down the ramp, and as per usual, looks disinterested. I really hate how great storylines are wasted on people who can’t work with them. You’re about to realize your dreams on the greatest stage of them all, Randy! How about some excitement, or emotion, or anything other than impersonating a block of wood? Triple H’s entrance is snazzier, starting with a backstage cam of him looking at his reflection in a pane of glass, then tossing his hammer into it, shattering the glass in front of the stage. Now, it’s a bit more elaborate than a man who should be all about the anger should have, but given that Orton gave us nothing to work with, I’ll take the theatrics.

The match starts, and for two men who spent the better part of a month trying to maim one another, they really don’t seem too eager to fight, with a good thirty second stare down. Trips finally remembers that he’s supposed to be angry, and tackles Orton to the ground with a headlock and punches. He then proceeds to beat up on Orton, which has a couple benefits. First, Orton does a good job of cowering: Orton used to be very, very good at selling moves before the horrible accident which turned him into a turnip, as well as being something of a cowardly heel, and you get to see those roots shine here. Second, Trips is warned by the ref that he has to let up, or he’ll be disqualified, letting us know early on that Hunter is going to have to watch himself. But then, something odd happens: Orton RKOs Triple H, less than a minute in. I’ve said before that I don’t care for finishers coming out before I can actually believe it might be the end of the match, and not only does this apply here, but I just don’t get why. Why wouldn’t you use another move? A punch, or a suplex, or something? Why use the finisher when it clearly is not going to do anything? It cheapens the move, and the complete lack of emotional investment this early in the match gives the RKO zero pop. To make matters worse, Triple H gets up and hits Orton with the Pedigree. So, what was the point of that? To show that they can hit each other with their finishers? We already know that; it didn’t need to be established. By shooting your biggest bullet right at the get-go, it’s going to be harder to build from this point on.

To prove my point, we’re not two minutes into the match, and already they’re writhin in pain on the ground. I need momentum, not carnage! Hunter begins to attack Orton outside the ring, but then inexplicably stops for another couple minutes so Orton can roll back in the ring. Seriously, there is just no speed here after the opening. They finally start to try and get things done by Hunter throwing Orton around into the ringpost, which leads to a great (rare) moment of Orton showing some character. In pain from the attack, he puts out his hands pleadingly and says, “Wait!” It’s a great classic heel thing to do. But, sadly, it leads to another moment of stillness. Triple H kicks him in the head, then proceeds to punch him some more, and I realize that the little action we’ve had thus far has just been Triple H punching Orton in between long gaps of dead air. There is just no momentum or speed here, and the pacing is completely off, with extended and unnecessary delays between attacks. Orton is putting up no fight, and so all we have is Trips throwing a few punches when he feels like it, and Orton taking it like a trooper.

Orton finally gets a shot in by whipping Hunter into the ring steps, which leads to more writhing in pain and more standing around. In a storyline with this much anger written in, I should not be compelled to yell “Do something!” Sadly, this is exactly what is happening, as we’re already going for a fake count out on Triple H, who manages to roll back into the ring, and we get the ever interesting Orton-stomp. Yes, that’s what this match needed: more one sided beatdowns with very little back and forth. Oddly, though, Orton is better at keeping his beatdowns at a quicker pace than Hunter’s, with shorter gaps in between stomping. It’s sad that I’m counting this as a plus.

Finally, finally, we get a counter with Triple H hitting Orton with a back suplex, and then getting hit himself with a scoop slam. And then… headlocks. Because actually having moves occurring in a wrestling match is just silly. And then some more punches. Honestly, guys, can we try and put up a fight? They do eventually trade standing punches, which are always fun, and we finally get some movement in the ring, with a few Irish Whips, resulting in Triple H hitting the high knee and the face buster, before Orton rallies and catapults Trips into the turnbuckle. Thank you for actually giving signs of life. Triple H sets up for a superplex, which Orton sneaks out of and drops Hunter’s chin on the turnbuckle. Orton then tries to jump from the top rope, but Trips puts his legs up and kicks Orton in the face, eventually leading to an exchange of roll ups. This is an odd case of doing a match completely backwards: you’re supposed to start with the technical moves to build momentum, then go to staggering to emphasize pain, and then hit the finishers. Did the script print out wrong or what?

True to form, the longer we go, the more interesting this is getting. Triple H hits the spinebuster, teases a Pedigree, which Orton counters into a backbreaker for a two count. We’re getting exciting moves, good counters, signs of life from the wrestlers, and momentum is built. Why was this not done at the beginning of the match when I still cared? Even with Orton catching a jumping Triple H with a dropkick doesn’t get as big a response as I’d usually give it, simply because my interest was killed early on. Which is a pity, because if you cut out the first chunk of this match and start with the actual wrestling occurring in the ring now, this is a good match with a lot of counters and moves which has been almost uninterrupted by long delays. Not to mention that it’s capped off with Triple H blocking Orton’s punt by grabbing the leg, and flipping him out of the ring, a story-moment that is made better by Orton’s rare facial expressions showing shock that his best weapon against Hunter’s family has just been countered. And now, with Orton outside the ring, and with the audience now impressed with the wrestling that has occurred, you could have plugged in all of the more methodical stuff from earlier in, and everything would be fine. This match is like a puzzle that’s been put together wrong: all the right pieces are there, but it’s just not been connected in the right fashion.

Now on the outside of the ring, Triple H threatens to brain Orton with one of the monitors, but is reminded that if he gets DQ’d, he loses the title. The threat here is a bit mistimed: there’s no intensity behind it, and we all know good and well he’s not going to do it. The better tease comes when he threatens to Pedigree Orton through the announce table, which Orton counters with a backdrop to flip Triple H onto the next table. I notice that the ref isn’t counting either of them out, which is odd, considering what a DQ means to both of these men. After a disproportionate amount of time, the ref clues in, and starts counting, but then stops after Orton DDTs Triple H on the floor. Once Orton rolls back in the ring, he starts his count anew. Pretty sure that’s not how count outs works. Trips manages to roll back in the ring to beat the ten count, which we all knew he would, but at least it was timed better than the previous count out attempt.

Orton apparently cannot believe that Trips made it back in, and proceeds to stomp on Triple H. I swear that I’ve seen this exact sequence before… Seriously, even the camera angle was the same from earlier on. The difference here is that this stomping session is much, much longer, and it’s every bit as exciting as you’d think it is, IE, not at all. I think if you cut out the beginning and climax of this match, and just kept the middle part, we’d all be much happier, because the middle was where all the substance was, and everything else has been filler. Orton throws Trips into the ref intentionally to presumably do something shady, but then RKOs Triple H. That’s fine and well, but why would you take out the ref in order to hit your finisher when there’s no one to count the pin fall? Not very good planning, and another misuse of the finisher. Did he hit it just because he wanted to, or did he not think that getting a pin fall was a good idea, or did he just really hate the referee, or what?

At any rate, Orton goes under the ring and brings out the iconic sledgehammer, which at least gives the ref bump some meaning, if not fixing the timing or initial intent. And then, as Orton goes into the ring, Triple H bursts forward and punts him in the head. Generally, I’m not a fan of irony, but I think it works here: Orton thinks he’s going to be able to use Hunter’s greatest weapon against him, and winds up on the receiving end of his own. It’s made better given how long this story has been built up, and with how the punt o’ doom has been pushed as an atomic bomb. But then we get to the part where I have a problem with this match: Triple H picks up the hammer and drills Orton with it, but because the ref didn’t see it, he’s not disqualified. Now, I get the whole justification angle they’re going for here, but the whole point of the stipulation was that Triple H had to win fair and square, and had to fight against temptation in order to be the bigger man. Now he just cheated, showed that he doesn’t have the self-control needed, and gets away with it on a technicality. He hasn’t proven anything here at all, and if anything, is still on the same level of Orton, who was also going to cheat. I really don’t care for how this portrays Triple H: I know he’s not supposed to be squeaky clean, but in a storyline where you seem to have definite hero and villain roles, you’re not as free to lapse into grey. Not to mention all the payback and justification moment you needed came with the punt. The hammer shot just feels unnecessary and weak.

Speaking of weak: the ending. After the hammer shot, there’s a good thirty seconds of Triple H just punching Orton, before lifting him up for the Pedigree, getting the pinfall. The problem is that there was absolutely no momentum leading up to the move: there was a lot of dead air in between the moment of drama and tension and the actual conclusion. The height of action came after the punt, and the Pedigree should have followed immediately while we were all excited. As it stands, the move kind of just came after a minute of plodding, and didn’t have the same emotional impact as it should have.

So that was our main event for Wrestlemania 25. I’ve more or less already said what I think about it: the middle part was the best. There was some decent wrestling with a lot of counters, the pacing was good, the drama was there, and it was a much better performance from Orton than I usually get. But the beginning and ending of the match were just dull, plodding, unmotivated, and nothing to write home about. For such a good storyline, this was a weak way to cap it off.

But, as a whole, I greatly enjoyed Wrestlemania 25. It had its hits and misses, but I think there was more good than bad. Granted, the Santina episode still makes me want to smack my head in disbelief, but most everything else holds up. The Money in the Bank match was one of, if not /the/, best; Jericho’s throwaway match was a pleasant surprise; the Hardys put on a good hardcore match clinic; I can appreciate the JBL sendoff, even if I don’t like it; Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker is one of the best ever; the Triple Threat was all right for what it was; and the WWE Title match, while flawed on two ends, at least had a very good middle portion and a storyline that makes me a little more forgiving.