Everybody Hates Recap Episodes

Welcome to that final episode of Smackdown before Wrestlemania this Sunday! Within, we can expect to see the intensity at its max, the stories reach their apex, and...

Wait... wait a minute... what do you mean, this is a recap episode?!

Seriously, the last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania is a brochure?! What about cranking things up to the boiling point? Putting on a few final touches? Having an actual episode and not just trailers for this Sunday? I mean, it’s not a complete recap episode: there is a final promo with Cody and the King, as well as a match with Barrett and Kingston, but damn! I’m heartily disappointed.

All right, WWE, you want to do recap episodes? I’ll do a recap episode! Here is my final thoughts on the stories and plots for Wrestlemania this Sunday, as well as my predictions for the matches.

-Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

I think this might have been the best storyline to be produced for Wrestlemania. Just like a good cup of tea, the longer a story is allowed to brew, the stronger it becomes, and as this started back in January, we’ve been allowed to see it evolve. Cody Rhodes’ character development has been superbly accomplished: he took the gimmick of narcissist, cranked it up to obsession (with his rage attacks whenever someone hit his face), and then altered the course entirely to give the audience something unexpected. The slow build of Cody’s insanity was what made this exceptional. Not only does it start off with the whammy of having his beloved face broken, but then he misses out on both the Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber, thus appearing that his chances to get to Wrestlemania have all been screwed over by one man: Rey Mysterio. I love how there’s an actual, believable reason for Cody’s insanity to be directed at Rey, rather than just having him blame someone random in order to get a story built. He can see Rey as the source of all his problems, and thus something that needs to be dealt with. Then, once we got onto the actual road to Wrestlemania, we’ve seen Cody start off as slightly embarrassed to be out in public, to frantic in behaviour, to an almost zombie like state, and now, if I’m correct about where the last promo is going, a kind of acceptance of his mask, or at least, accepting in so far as it will give him great satisfaction to beat Rey Mysterio.

Now, on that note, while we’ve had a great deal of character development from Cody, Rey hasn’t really done a whole lot in this story. But, to be fair, he doesn’t need to: Cody is young and still trying to entrench himself with the crowd, and thus having a story like this is crucial for him, while Rey just needs to be the loveable hero whom Cody can exert his anger onto, thus creating animosity towards the crowd. Also, Rey has done a good job of putting Cody over: he’s not just laughing Cody off or making fun of his mask. He’s treating Cody as a threat, and as I always say, if the characters believe it, then I’ll believe it. I should have like more Rey talking-segments, but I don’t feel lost without them.

Match Predictions: This one is hard to call. On the one hand, if this is the opening match, the crowd will need one of their favourite  good guys to win to keep up the energy. However, I think the name of the game this Wrestlemania is to try and put the new guys over, and as Rey has been rumoured to want a vacation for some time, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Cody take the win, and proceed to beat Rey to near death in order to write him out for a bit.

-Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan for the United States Championship

While I am happy for this match, I’m disappointed at the lack of a story behind it. We knew it was coming, to some extent, with Sheamus confronting Bryan in the backstage in Week 1, but that was literally it for the intense face-to-face. It didn’t help matters that Sheamus was busy being raped for three weeks, and thus I was more worried about his making it to Wrestlemania at all, never mind having a storyline. Since he won the US Title in Week 4, all we’ve had between him and Bryan is Daniel demanding a rematch, and Sheamus kicking him in the face. Bryan didn’t get his own back, so there hasn’t been any back-and-forth. I feel this is a great pity on behalf of Daniel Bryan, because aside from his return to the WWE and a brief rivalry with the Miz, he hasn’t had a decent storyline or rivalry to help build his standing, and with his complete lack of a personality, I still don’t find myself caring about him a great deal.

On the flip side, I’m thankful for Sheamus getting back on his feet and ceasing being slapped around. Over the last year, he’s improved a great deal, both in ring style and in his promos, to the point where I rather like him. In his case, although this isn’t a great storyline for him either, it’s good to just be able to stop the bleeding.

Match Predictions: If they’re planning on truthfully giving Sheamus back his credibility, a good long title run would be just the thing to do it. However, I can see Daniel Bryan getting the win, just to appease the crowd and hopefully quell the ridiculous “If X wins, we riot!” rallies that you see every year. Seriously, it’s just wrestling, people!

-The Eight Man Tag Match

I’m going to ignore, for a few seconds, how much I hate the Corre in general in order to address this plot with any degree of sincerity.

So this too started back in January, when the Corre first appeared on Smackdown and attacked the Big Show. Since then, Show’s been leading a crusade against the fiendish four, which has led to numerous interactions between the giant and the Corre. Which leads me to a big problem with the plot behind this match: the only guy here who has a real animosity towards the Corre is Big Show. He’s been the one under attack for three months, he’s been the target of their aggression, and in turn, he’s been the one doing the most damage to the Corre. Look at how he decimated Wade at the Elimination Chamber. On that note, the one who has had the most animosity towards Show is Barrett: being the ad hoc leader of the Corre (official or not, Barrett leads by virtue of being the only one with a personality), Wade has been the one ordering all these attacks on the Big Show. On his first appearance on Smackdown, he was the one who cost Big Show a title shot. So what this match should really be is, in fact, Big Show and Wade Barrett, as they’re the two with the most development between them.

To be fair, Santino and Koslov do have a bone to pick with the Corre, as Gabriel and Slater did take the Tag Team titles from them, and have used their strength in numbers to stop any attempts to get it back. However, it’s hard to take the Comic Relief vs. Ginger and Mary Ann very seriously. The man who all this is truly lost on, however, is Kane. I promised I wouldn’t harp about this anymore, but over six months ago, the man had killed the Undertaker, stole his powers, and was the World Heavyweight Champion, and now he’s in the throwaway match? How can you just forget that you had given him that much strength? And I have to know: why doesn’t Kane even seem to realize that the Undertaker isn’t dead?! You’d really think he’d have noticed by now. This is not a man who is going to shrug something like having the brother he killed, after having stole his powers and fulfilled his lifelong dream of being the dominant brother, come back! Do they just keep slipping ear plugs into his ears every time Taker’s music plays or what?

Match Predictions: This is going to be the feel-good match of the night, and I don’t mind one bit. I don’t even care if it’s a good wrestling match: I just want to watch Show and Kane beat the hell out of the Corre.

-CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

I have an easier time buying this match if it were truly heel vs. heel, rather than heel vs. whatever the hell Orton is. If he’s going to still be the Viper, he should be pushed as such, and not as a quasi-face. Orton has spent most of this storyline being just as selfish and heel-like as Punk, actively putting people out of commission, and not doing a whole lot that could be considered heroic. I should re-emphasize that this would, and does, work if the plot was to be a quest to see who could out-heel the other. As it stands, with Orton being made an anti-hero, the whole thing is confused.

At any rate, if we do pretend that this is heel vs. heel, it’s been done fairly decently, with Punk getting under the skin of Orton since costing him the title at the Royal Rumble and screwing with him at the Elimination Chamber. The latter half of this, on the final Road to Wrestlemania, has been owned primarily by Orton, who has been ruining Punk’s chances of having the Nexus in his corner. The problem here, though, is that all of Orton’s punts, aggression, and game-changing moments have been aimed at the Nexus. I know that by association, these count as shots against Punk, the fact is that Orton hasn’t been directly affecting Punk at all. He’s taken away Punk’s cronies, but CM Punk hardly needs them in order to make an effect, as we saw when he threatened Orton’s wife, and then further crippled Orton. For all intents and purposes, Orton’s shenanigans for the last six weeks haven’t accomplished much in his quest to best CM Punk.

I think it would have helped had we ever been given the impression that Nexus was in fact an integral part of CM Punk. Ever since the faction split, the Nexus hasn’t actually meant a great deal. Before, they were an angry group of rookies, who, in spite of their mediocrity of personality, at least had that one unifying factor; after, the remaining four members were always upstaged by Punk, who was simply too good for the rest of them. As such, whenever they lost a member to Orton, it had less devastating effect as when the original Nexus lost a member to Cena. In fact, its a bit of a sad way for the Nexus to finally dissolve, given how they were the main plot of Raw for the better part of 2010. It would have been more potent if they had a final showdown with the Corre, to see who came out on top.

Match Predictions: If we have learned anything over the last month, it’s that Orton can absorb a nuclear bomb and still hit an RKO to win.

-John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler, Michelle McCool and Layla

Well, there really hasn’t been much of a story in this at all, as the match is running entirely on the inclusion of Snooki, whether as a draw or a means to anger the fans. All you will hear about this match is Snooki, be it sheer outrage or press clippings. It’s a bit of a pity that it’s going on shock value, as it’s not impossible to do a celebretay storyline for Wrestlemania and have it still be compelling: the most notable example of this is Mr. T against Rowdy Roddy Piper, or Chris Jericho’s beef with Mickey Rourke. But we didn’t get anything like that, except for a few shots from LayCool doing their best to apply their bad-girl act.

In a strange turn of events, the real losers of this match are the men, who seem to be little more than valets to the women. Seriously, JoMo and Dolph’s matches of 2009 for the Intercontinental Championship were great, and now they really don’t have a lot going for them in this match up. This strange shake up of gender relations is a little surreal.

Match Predictions: Expect the good guys to win, with Snooki picking up the pin and doing precious little else.

-Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole/Jack Swagger, with Stone Cold Steve Austin as Referee.

Undoubtedly, the most pleasant surprise for plots. I hadn’t thought that a storyline involving announcers could have been interesting at all, but boy, I was wrong. This is an old-school story with definite bad guys against a definite hero. There are no shades of gray, no chances for the fans to get behind the heel, and a massive backing to see Lawler win. As I’ve said before, I admire the villains, especially in a modern day, who can actually be hateable, instead of being kind of “cool” or admirable. Creating the kind of heat that Michael Cole has created for himself in this day and age is incredible, and it hasn’t just been a matter of him being annoying: he’s hit the right buttons to deal with Lawler, delving into personal matters to take stabs at the King, getting the better of him in the ring, and hurting good ol’ JR (who hurts JR? A total jerk, that’s who!). I also approve of the build that’s gone on through this, with Cole being mildly irritating (taking shots at King when Cole first started being a heel), to being dastardly (costing King his title match against the Miz), to being outright evil. This gradual evolution kept the storyline from stagnating or getting too old too soon, or the opposite folly of coming out of nowhere and having no emotion. The pacing in this plot has been just right, with Cole becoming a believable heel, and, with the aid of Swagger, a legitimate threat.

Swagger has the misfortune of being the side role in this storyline, where he’s only here because Cole is here, and if it wasn’t Swagger, anyone else might have done, so he doesn’t have the same story impact that I think he deserves. However, it’s not a total loss, for this gets Jack back in the swing of things, and his attacks on King, and thus assistance with Cole, helps give him back his standing as an entertaining heel. If he plays off of this well, he can use it to further himself after Wrestlemania.

I’m disappointed that Stone Cold hasn’t played much of a role in this plot as he might have. When he was introduced, I assumed he was going to help bolster King up more, and we’d see the two sides of the match build in intensity. This, of course, didn’t happen, with Stone Cold vanishing, but that might not be a bad thing: Austin steals the show whether he wants to or not, and his absence has helped keep the focus on King and Cole. On the topic of King, he’s definitely the hero in this, and has helped build the rivalry with Cole. I like the fact that the match was his idea, emphasizing how badly he wants to get his hands on Cole, as well as his attempts to attack Michael in spite of the GM warning that if he touched Cole, King would be fired; it tells the audience that all Lawler really wants is his revenge, not his job. King’s been held back, but not simmered down, and as such, when the dam breaks, the more excitement there will be as a result.

Match Predictions: I’ll bet you anything that Austin hits someone with the Stunner.

-Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship.

I like how this match has been hyped and built. Del Rio’s personality is generally more sunny than brooding, his cockiness more fun than annoying, and as such, he really needed this story to bring out his more serious side. The pairing with Edge was a good choice, given that he’s not only extremely over as a face (thus making any attacks on him award Del Rio with more heel-credit), but Edge has still retained his manic half-insanity, which naturally brings more intensity to a storyline. I do feel that Del Rio hasn’t been as villainous as he might have been: he’s gotten some good shots in at the expense of Edge, but nothing that stands out as a truly memorable moment. He has toned down his smiling and his cool confidence, emphasizing that he’s not inclined to play around, but he could have done with more flat-out anger. If you were to compare this rivalry to his one with Mysterio, we don’t have anything like Del Rio dressing up a Chihuahua in a luchidor mask, or doing any real damage to Edge. It’s insinuated that Del Rio has done a number on Edge’s arm, but we’ve also seen that Edge can wrestle through it, and thus it’s not as effective a plot point as it might have been.

In fact, in all of this, it seems that the better storyline has been going on between Del Rio and Christian. The two of them have an obvious animosity towards one another, and for whatever reason, I find Alberto’s anger at Christian more believable than towards Edge, such as the aftermath of the cage match when Christian got the better of him. It doesn’t help that most of Del Rio’s matches for the last six weeks have been with Christian, to the point where I think they’ve had more screen time together than Edge. All in all, I don’t know that Alberto has been as angry as he could have been. Still, it’s not been terrible: Del Rio is still asserting that it is his destiny to win, and there were a couple of segments where the story felt accelerated, such as the contract signing. Del Rio is being a solid heel for the benefit of the plot, if not the most exceptional.

Looking at Edge, he’s done a fine job with this story. He starts off as being rather nonchalant at Del Rio, only to become more and more furious and intense as Alberto keeps getting on his nerves. Edge acts like this newcomer truly is a threat who has gotten under his skin, and that every moment Del Rio exists is a moment where Edge is angry. His confrontation with Teddy Long on the subject, his attempted attack on Del Rio’s car, and, of course, Edge’s facial expressions (which I still feel are the best ever) have all helped in pushing Del Rio as the fly in Edge’s soup. My only regret is that the plot point of the two not being able to touch one another was introduced so late (especially as such a thing helped the Lawler/Cole storyline tremendously), the fact that it was negated immediately on Raw, and that the last Smackdown was dedicated to a recap, so that nothing came of it.

In closing, this storyline was solid, enjoyable, but lacked that extra special something to make it truly memorable.

Match Predictions: I actually expect Del Rio to win. They definitely have invested in this guy to give him the Royal Rumble win and a main event at Wrestlemania, and given that he is building on his feud with Christian, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him and Christian battle for the title after Wrestlemania.

-Undertaker vs. Triple H

It’s funny that I’ve spent most of the last six weeks complaining about this match, and after one promo, it’s like everything has been fine all along.

Of course, we started off with the staring contest, which was actually a pretty good moment, in retrospect. The fact that we all knew what was being conveyed between the two without any words was pretty well done. But then we got into the duelling promos between the two, always separate and on different shows, and that’s where things slowed down. The lack of interaction, feeling, and emotional investment made it hard to get interested as this “story”, if it could be called that, went along. Essentially, it was a match idea, but no substance to it. It didn’t help that Triple H’s promos were generally lacklustre. His motives, as he said, was that Undertaker’s undefeated streak  was the last mountain to climb, which is perfectly true, but in its execution, it sounded like Triple H was doing this just because he had nothing else to do. Things were helped by the Undertaker asserting that he’s still the Phenom, but the whole thing was without that spark of inspiration until the final Raw. All of my feelings, admirations, and joy from that episode is documented in my previous blog, and doesn’t need reiteration. What should be emphasized, though, is the fact that in spite of all of these aforementioned flaws, this was saved by /one/ promo. That is a testament to how great these two are, and why they’re among the best.

Match Predictions: I predict this match will be awesome.

-The Miz vs. John Cena for the WWE Title.

This was a slow starting plot, with a lot of flaws, which eventually got ironed out and fixed as time went on. The problem, of course, was that this was not simply a one-on-one match, but always had the inclusion of our special guest host for Wrestlemania, the Rock, which confused things. The Rock’s presence in this both helps and hinders. At first, it was mostly a distraction, with Cena’s attention diverted and the audience more concerned with what was going with Rock than the title match. However, as time went on, the Rock was able to use his legacy to assist both men: he stopped being simply amusing, and started to help push Cena and Miz. After all, the Rock only makes fun of you if you’re worth it. Once Rocky put on the serious face, he accented the action, and increased the interest in the rest of the story.

Cena’s start in all of this was not only more focused on the Rock, rather than his main goal of the title, but his treatment of the Miz was as if he were a humorous sideshow. His promo against Alex Riley was the highlight of this feeling. However, much like the Rock, once Cena put on his serious face, the story picked up. There are few things more frightening than a man Cena’s size glaring at you, and when that does happen, you know you’ve struck a nerve. As I’ve said time and time again, if the characters are taking things seriously, so will I. And once Cena got back on track, this became a true Wrestlemania storyline. Cena stopped fooling around, started to put his eyes on the prize, and made it clear that Miz was the end-all, not the Rock. So long as Cena is in the main event of Wrestlemania (and that would be every Wrestlemania since 2005), you can’t expect a whole lot of good wrestling, but at the very least, you can generally expect a well-acted out story.

Which brings us to our Champion, the Miz. The Miz started out as being buried in all this, and came out on top as a legitimate Champion. If you can remember his initial feud with Cena back in 2009, the whole thing was a joke, because neither John nor Miz seemed to be taking the whole thing seriously. By the end of this, Miz has not only gotten the better of Cena for a month, but has also earned the anger of the Rock. What’s more, by the end of all this, Miz looked and felt like he belonged in a ring with Rock and Cena, and as such, the match has far more interest and investment from the fans.

Match Predictions: It’s always hard to bet against Cena at Wrestlemania, because you want to send the fans home happy (the only time Cena has /not/ walked away World Champion was in his match at Wrestlemania 24, where the match was fourth from the end). But I think they might go with the Miz, if the WWE is truly interested in its future prospects.

So that’s that. The Road to Wrestlemania is complete. All that’s left is the Show of Shows, and the climax of these events. I expect a good showing from the kids in this one, a solid show altogether, and at least one Stone Cold Stunner.

...Still waiting for Kane to realize that Taker’s not dead...