HIgh Anxiety

The week came in with a whimper and out with a bang for the WWE. Raw dropped the ball, Smackdown recovered it, ran for the touchdown, and is now being smothered by gracious cheerleaders.

We open with our World Heavyweight Champion, Edge. I find it interesting that Edge is more or less doing the same tweener/anti-hero thing that Orton is trying to do, but is doing without morality complications or message confusion. I don’t think I could narrow it down to any one thing in particular, and that it’s a mix of context and factors. For starters, I think Edge has simply been around long enough and earned enough respect from the fans, much like the Undertaker, that he can do whatever he feels like, be it for good or evil, and we’ll still cheer him for him out of familiarity. Secondly, Edge can do most everything well, as in terms of acting and wrestling, and so whether he’s being a heel or a face, there’s a promise of a good show regardless. Third, and this is where I think he distances his anti-hero status from Orton, while Edge still cheats, sneaks, and is generally devious, he’s doing it now, in both body language and story line, that it’s not so much founded in maliciousness and hatred as it is the “loveable scamp” way of breaking the rules without necessarily hurting anyone. Edge has taken all of his energies that he used when a heel, and has simply tweaked them so that they’re more, well, fun. It’s not like Edge has completely overhauled his character, he’s just toned down the glaring, upped the smiling, made his jokes less offensive and more good natured, and just made a bunch of minor changes which help him still be the Rated R Superstar while winning over the fans as their top good-guy. Compare that to Orton, who’s still acting in a villainous, angry fashion without tempering it for the fact that he’s trying to win the fans over; as I said in last Monday’s promo, he’s still acting primarily as a heel, not as a tweener, and hasn’t changed his actions or tone at all, so that his acceptance as a kind of face is more bizarre.

Edge is happy that Vickie is gone (remember, she still gets 50% of everything!), but annoyed that Alberto Del Rio interrupted his singing last week. Darnit, Edge is never going to be able to finish that song!  And he’s not going to be able to finish it this week, either, as Drew McIntyre has a bone to pick with Edge. I really like what they’re doing with Drew: they’ve given him back that aggression that he first started with, only now, they’ve also given him a kind of bravery in that he really isn’t afraid of anything. His performance in the Elimination Chamber was one of my favourite parts of that match, as he really looks motivated and longing to just take people apart again (I could watch him DDT Matt Hardy all day long, personally). Sadly, Drew doesn’t get very far in his initial assault, as Edge tips him over the top rope (I always think that looks a bit silly). Teddy Long comes out and decrees that Drew must have a legitimate match with Edge, or he too will be fired. Seriously, what’s with all the firing threats as of late? I’m afraid it’s going to lose its potency as a threat the way it keeps getting run out here. But, as if to give a nod to everything I said that Drew was doing well, the Sinister Scotsman yells, “I /want/ a match with Edge! I’m dying for a match with Edge!” I just really like having a bad guy with guts; while I love the slimy, cowardly villains (see my opinions of Michael Cole in my last blog, as well as CM Punk), it can be a nice variation to have a guy who’s not afraid: the match chemistry has an altogether different dynamic with that, as neither side of the match is going to back down, and both combatants want to win.

The match is a good one, as Drew provides much of the aggression while Edge gives us technique. The think that I like about Drew’s ringwork is that although he doesn’t have a lot of moves, and doesn’t really wrestle much, he’s always moving, always attacking, has body language that is intimidating, and has multiple ways of brawling through the ring, in and out of it, without just throwing punches. It reminds me of Stone Cold’s matches: you know that you’re not getting a bunch of traditional moves, but he can still make the match compelling and shake things up to keep the audience engaged. In this case, Drew is constantly going after the arm of Edge which Del Rio attacked last week, which gives his brutalization an end goal, and has effects within the story of the match, rather than just Drew doing whatever. Also, the speed of the match keeps up, without slowing down or feeling monotonous, which can be attributed to both men doing their best to actively out-wit and out-fight the other. It’s just an altogether good opening match, doing just what it needs to do in order to get the audience into the show early on.

Edge wraps things up with the not-actually-a-Sharpshooter, the actual name of the move currently escaping me, to force Drew to tap out. I believe what they’re going for is to give Edge a submission move of his own in order to combat Del Rio’s Armbar, so that their match at Wrestlemania will be given that extra level of depth as the two try to get each other to tap out, and I’m all for that. I’m reminded of Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania 17 trying to force the other to acknowledge the winner as the better submission wrestler, which made for a really good match with a really good story. The only problem here is that in the aforementioned match, both men’s primary finisher were their submission moves, and thus, as having it integrated into their characters, it meant more to them to execute it for the win. The re-introduction of Edge’s submission move, on the other hand, is not as deeply entrenched with his wrestling style as much as the Spear is, and so I don’t think having him and Del Rio exchange submission holds will have the same kind of drama as it might otherwise. Of course, this is all assuming that they’re going to try and have a match like Angle/Benoit, which might not be the case at all, and this is all just prospecting. Long story short, I just hope that Edge doesn’t try to force this move to the point where it feels unnatural in the match.

Coming back from commercials, we’re treated to the familiar “Booyaka, Booyaka” melody, as our favourite luchador Rey Mysterio appears on the stage... wait a minute, when did Rey grow about five inches and start wearing a suit? That’s right, its Cody Rhodes wearing the mask of Rey he stole last week, and I love it. I loved it when CM Punk came out dressed as Jeff Hardy the show after he got Hardy fired, and I love it here. It screws with the expectations of people, creates shock value as realization kicks in, and dangit, it’s just a dick move that generates instant heat for heels. Moreover, Cody is obviously having a gleefully evil time doing it, which makes the villain value all the more potent. Cody takes off the mask to reveal his own mask, and suddenly becomes more self conscious, trying to conceal his face from the camera and keeping his head down. This is one of the hiccups that I found with this promos execution: Cody sometimes is trying to hide his face, other times doesn’t seem to care as he lifts his head up. This in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, and in fact works with where the character is right now, lost between his love of the camera and his deep shame of wearing his face brace. It’s just that the on/off switch of these two mindsets aren’t meshed very well in the execution, and Cody will sometimes switch to one or the other without giving the impression of realization or transition. Still, this is a nitpick, and given the rest of the promo, it doesn’t matter. Cody Rhodes aces this bit, in my opinion, by really getting across his growing insanity within his speech style and facial expressions. He asks the crowd to stop looking at him, then barks the order again, yet still tries to keep his head down (also, really good lighting in this bit, with the heavy blue overhead creating a feeling of despair, the white undertones allowing us to see Cody’s expressions in a more manic way). He talks about how his life sucks as of late, and how what he did to Rey last week can’t even hope to compare to the pain he’s been feeling. Another thing Cody does well in this is he doesn’t just come out and start yelling: he always builds up to a boiling point with his words, and then begins to yell, so that we’re not just getting noise, we’re getting feeling. Long story short, Cody wants a match with Rey at Wrestlemania, getting a great boo from the crowd as he refers to Rey as a “Carnival, sideshow freak.” Should Rey accept, Cody promises to rip off the mask and commence with the maiming of Mysterio.

I really, really like where Rhodes has gone with this character. It’s all too easy to be handed a general gimmick, such as narcissist, jock, monster, etc., and then never develop it past its archetype. But to take the narcissist and take it past just loving yourself to the point of loving yourself so much that the merest scratch drives you insane, and then take it to despair, leading to madness, is a really nice touch. It gives the character more motivation, more development, and makes the whole thing more interesting. Very good work.

We now go from well developed characters to the Corre, and the performance quality jump is staggering. We see them try and talk to Kane, who has a match with the Big Show later in the evening. They believe that Kane owes them a favour for helping him out with... that one match. Which match would that be, writers? Which match would that be? We’re getting exposition on that, right? We’re going to hear about that match, how it ended, and how Kane killed the Undertaker, and how stunned he must be to find that he’s back, right? Yeah, no. We get nothing about that. No flashback, no images, and for all we know, Kane has no idea that the Undertaker is even back. Why is this not being addressed? I know that the focus is, and should be, on the upcoming Undertaker vs Triple H match at Wrestlemania, and that all Undertaker spots are now geared towards that, but this is really, really bugging me. The storyline of last summer was epic, awesome, and well written, and to not resolve it is just infuriating. All you have to do is have one moment of Kane/Taker interaction, wrap it up, and then continue with the Streak storyline. I know they want Undertaker’s full attention to be on Triple H, but I don’t think it’s asking too much to have him Tombstone Kane or something to that extent.

Tag Match time. It’s Ginger and Mary Ann versus Koslov and Santino. It’s a sad day when I feel the comedy duo is legitimately the better of the two teams. Color me surprised, though, Koslov (or Koz, as Booker likes to call him) and Santino actually put on a good show. I often forget that if Santino’s main role wasn’t one of comedy, he would actually be a pretty decent in-ring competitor. Lo and behold, in a complete shock, the rest of the Corre intervenes and Slater and Gabriel win. Alright, kids, if you’re going to be mediocre, can you at least try different ways of being disappointing? Seriously. Given that Wade is the only one in this group who I find remotely entertaining, why isn’t he the one with a belt?

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the Undertaker’s return. In spite of my unhappiness with the lack of Kane in this, I still love seeing Taker back. It doesn’t matter how many times he does a miraculous return, the fact of the matter is, he’s just that good, and I shall never tire of it. It’s funny that my initial reaction to the new entrance music was one of outrage: how /dare/ they change the music?! Then I realized that it’s not that bad, the song is almost the same beat as the funeral march, and it harkens back to the original imagery of the Undertaker as a western-esque gravedigger, before he became the Lord of Darkness. I’m still not sold on the whole “Last Outlaw” tagline, because, well, I can’t think of the Undertaker as anything but this extraordinary, practically god-like figure, and to refer to him just as an outlaw seems a massive understatement and doesn’t really do the Undertaker justice. But it’s not a huge deal.

I’m always impressed by the Undertaker’s eloquence when speaking: he annunciates, his word choice is succinct, and his sentences just flow. This case is no different, in which he remarks how amazed he is that people still think it’s possible for his Streak to be broken. The parallel of this promo to that of Triple H’s is interesting: both men this week don’t seem to be yelling, intense, angry, or giving the things I usually expect, but in the case of the Undertaker, it works. I believe the difference lies in what the two characters are trying to accomplish: Triple H is trying to tackle the impossible, and needs as much drive and fury as he can to even hope about succeeding, while Undertaker is already on the top, and has nothing to fear until he has a reason to. He’s not completely immune, either: he does a good job of letting us know that he does hold Triple H in high regard, thus making the match a bigger deal. I’m a bit torn on this, actually, as I wonder whether there would be more intensity if Taker kept blowing Hunter off like he did in their initial stare-down, only to have Triple H keep hacking away and slowly shaking Undertaker’s confidence, but that’s more of a personal take, and not integral. The line that makes it all work, though, is that after Undertaker discusses how great it will be for Hunter to win and how much that will add to his legacy, he adds, “But if he loses,” stops, looks at the camera, “and he /will/ lose.” Right there, we see that the Undertaker is still kick-ass. He doesn’t care about who comes up. He doesn’t care what strange millionaire/barbarian warrior hybrid you throw at him, he will come out victorious, because he’s the damn Undertaker. It’s confidence, it’s a kind of energy, it’s motivation, and I really like it. It gave me back my hopes for this match, and I’m certain that if Triple H can match it in the future, we’ve got something. The difference between the two promos is that Undertaker believes he’s still a god, while Triple H sounded like he was doing this because the writers couldn’t think of anything else for him to do. If Hunter can remind us of why he’s the Game, and not drone about how he’s done it all, but rather come out and announce how much ass he still intends to kick, just as Taker did here, I think we could have something special.

Divas tag action next. It’s Team LayCool vs Beth Phoenix and Rosa. Aaw, Rosa and Beth are together again. I remember when Rosa was just an intern for the Glamazon... Something I noticed throughout this match: Beth is getting serious cheers from the crowd, both in her entrance and once she gets in the match proper. Usually, the Diva matches are lucky to get attention from the crowd at all, but there was definite tender loving care for Beth tonight, and rightfully so: personally, I find Beth Phoenix to be one of the more entertaining in-ring performers right now, and she’s in my top ten favourites of current WWE talent. The match is pretty standard LayCool: Layla gets beat up, Beth almost gets the pin until Michelle intervenes, and the Flawless ones steal the win. Meh. At least Beth got screen time.

Big Show vs Kane. I like seeing these two together: Big Show is woefully underrated as a wrestler, and is capable of having a good match, but he can only do it when he’s with someone roughly his size and power, such as Kane. Alas, we’ll never now, because Team HAL, aka the Corre, show up and slip Kane a chair, which he uses all to happily on Show, obviously venting his anger that he’s gone from being in one of his best stories ever to having to be in the same ring as Heath Slater. But all of my rage is quickly dissipated as Kane turns around and decks Gabriel with the chair, getting many cheers from yours truly. You know what? That might have just made up for all of my other problems. I might make that into my screensaver: just watching Kane smack Gabriel with that chair, over and over. Oh, yes. If I can’t get narration resolution, I might as well get the satisfaction of watching Kane break people. I have no idea where this little segment is going (Kane and Show vs Corre?), but if it gives Kane something to do other than be tragically shunned, I’ll deal.

And now we go to my favourite surprise going into Wrestlemania: Michael Cole. Seriously, I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying a storyline about announcers. Cole is just acting like such a malicious jackass, and is hyping how badly he’s going to beat King, that you just can’t help but get emotionally involved, whether it’s just to see Cole get smacked around, or to see King get his revenge. To this end, we have a match with Swagger and JTG, in which the match itself is the background and the focus is on Cole ranting like a lunatic about how he and Swagger will clean up at Wrestlemania. I can’t believe how psychotic Cole sounds in this segment. It’s like he’s going to explode in a furious mass of vintage fire. After Swagger bests JTG, Cole dashes into the ring, and he and Swagger to the little run ‘round the ring while Booker T sums things up in the best line of the night: “Michael Cole has lost his mind.”

I’ve never understood the in-storyline practicality of a contract signing for a title match. Why not just do it in the back? Why do you need a contract? If it’s integral, why don’t they do it for every title match? Well, luckily, we all know that the reason for contract signings is for talking and sending someone through a table. It’s one of those things you just look forward to, in spite of knowing what the outcome is: like watching fireworks, knowing that you’re just going to see sparks, but you love watching them go off and explode. We have our two wrestlers, Edge and Alberto Del Rio, sitting down, whilst Teddy Long makes the best plea ever: “For the first time in Smackdown history, can we have a contract signing that doesn’t result in chaos?” Oh, Teddy, you and I know both know that’s so not going to happen, but I love the fourth wall breaking.

We now get to see how Edge and Del Rio will set up their rivalry, and what the mood and motivation will be. Edge tells Alberto to look him in the eye, and that all the fun and games are over now, that Del Rio has no idea what he’s getting into. Edge has a good voice in this one, sounding lecturing and irate at this upstart who actually thinks he’s on the same level. Del Rio drops his trademark smile to give his motivation: no one cares about Edge anymore. He’s old news. The future is Del Rio’s, and we’re all just living in it. I like this, especially compared to the Cena/Miz story. These two are taking each other seriously, they don’t like one another, they have their own personal opinions and emotions to build on, and this is more than just a match, it’s the old generation vs the new. I was concerned about how Del Rio would carry himself, if he would just stick with the cocky rookie angle, but his serious face in this was kept up very well, and my worries are allayed.

Edge informs Teddy that he shouldn’t hold out much hope for this thing not ending in chaos. Teddy, in a brilliant moment of timing, waits a few seconds for the tension to build before dashing out of the ring as both men go at one another. They have a pretty good scrap, but honestly, I’m not a big fan of beat-downs. They’re pretty straightforward, and don’t have much to them other than punches and kicks. Del Rio keeps going after Edge’s arm, but luckily, we have Christian to the rescue! Huzzah! (pleasemakethisatriplethreatmatchpleasepleaseplease) He comes to Edge’s aid, boots out Del Rio, and he and Edge reunite at ringside, as Christian looks dashing and Edge nurses a bloody nose.

Great episode. There obviously wasn’t a ton of wrestling, and generally short matches, but I found myself enjoying them regardless. The story lines they have going into Wrestlemania are developing in narration and intensity. The promos were solid, the talking was worth my time, and I got to watch Justin Gabriel get beaned with a chair. Excuse me while I go watch that clip a couple hundred times.