Last Raw before the Rumble! Got the blog up before the Rumble! We’ll call it a victory.
The show opens with our WWE Champion CM Punk, who comes to the ring and sits cross legged in the center of it. HE comments on how John Laurinaitis is planning to screw him in his Royal Rumble match, and I’m glad that “screw” has lost its sexual connotation, because the phrase is used enough that it would be very awkward otherwise. Punk is obviously upset with all this (as anyone would be) and once again asks Laurinaitis to come out to the ring to accept a match with Punk. The challenge here works much better then it did the first time, a few weeks back. There’s more motivation now for Punk to want a piece of his boss than before: prior, Punk wanted to fight the GM just because he was boring, which isn’t nearly enough to get the audience invested in the same reasons that Punk might be, not to mention that there wasn’t much immediate need for such a match to happen. Now, we’ve seen Laurinaitis use trick after trick to get under Punk’s skin, to the point where Punk is almost helpless to an extent, with the odds stacked against him in an insurmountable pile, and now he wants to get revenge in the only way open to him. Also, this adheres to the wrestling logic of it being okay to exact revenge if the other guy screwed you over first, so Punk can still come off as a good guy out of all this instead of being sporadically violent. In short, the challenge here is justifiable based on what has come before, and Punk has the audience’s sympathies with him. Unfortunately for Punk, the GM does not come out, but John Cena does, and Cena is noticeably less chipper than usual. Punk glances at Cena, and says he’s not the John he asked for. Cena’s reply is along the lines of telling Punk to more or less shut it. I do love that there’s a kind of canon that they don’t like one another, in spite of their both technically being good guys. Cena also wants Laurinaitis to come out, but for different reasons: he wants the GM to first apologize to Zack Ryder for more or less costing him the US Title last week, and then he wants Laurinaitis to quit. Cena is the clingiest BFF ever. I know the effect they’re going for, but geez, John, you don’t have to hold Zack’s hand. Well, Laurinaitis does indeed come out, and having vented his spleen last week, he now feels much better. He says that he made a mistake last week, and obviously has no intention to quit. Also, he’s not up for a match against Punk at this moment. Thankfully, since both men in the ring need a healthy outlet for their aggression, he’s arranged a tag match between Cena and Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger. If there’s any problem I’ve had with recent events, in spite of how good everything has been, it’s this: Swagger and Ziggler are finally where they ought to be in the roster standings, and no one is talking about them. Ziggler has almost no personal momentum going into the Royal Rumble, because the rivalry is focused on Laurinaitis and Punk; Ziggler has been made out to be almost an afterthought, and that doesn’t do him a lot of good. Also, I would have preferred if Cena had aimed some of his anger at Swagger for beating Ryder, because he more than anyone needs to be taken seriously as a Champion again, and Cena could definitely help there.
The match is, for the most part, pretty much your standard tag match, in which the heels beat down one of the guys until they get the hot tag. Things were promising early on, when Punk and Cena were tagging back and forth frequently and offering to keep the pace of the match up. Also of some interest is that Cena was the one in peril here who had to tag out to Punk. It’s a bit surreal to see Cena not be the one to save the day. Thankfully, the ending shakes things up a bit, with Punk about to mow through Ziggler, but is distracted by Laurinitis at ringside. The distraction allows Ziggler to roll up Punk and get the pin. Once again, the problem here is that not enough is being attributed to Ziggler; this is the third time he’s beaten Punk in the last month, and even though each time was due to some kind of interference from Laurinaitis, the commentary and reaction never points enough attention Ziggler’s way to make him credible as a result. Case in point here: Ziggler wins, leaves, and the story seamlessly goes back to Punk and Laurinaitis. Punk demands that Laurinaitis mans up and steps into the ring with him later in the night. Oddly, the GM decides that he accepts, though what really changed in the last ten minutes, I’m not certain I understand. He also announces that, in answer to Cena’s request, Ryder will not be getting a rematch tonight, but will be facing off against Kane. And should John interfere, then Ryder will never get another title shot again.
Backstage, Zack is with Eve, who is trying to talk Long Island Ice Z out of going out there to face Kane, given that Zack still has broken ribs. This is very sage advice. Zack shrugs it off, even when Cena comes up and looks concerned. Zack tells Cena he’s got this, which I liked, because not only does it make Zack look tougher that he’s willing to take the beating he knows is coming, but dang, Cena is just really clingy.
So the next match is Zack Ryder vs. Kane, and by match, I mean Kane killing Ryder with extreme prejudice. It’s a testament to Kane’s abilities that this segment was as good as it was. Lesser men would have just stomped on Ryder, which would have been as interesting as mud. With Kane, he gives the impression of trying to destroy Zack, picking him up and tossing him about the arena. I particularly liked how Kane kept moving the action around the ring, outside the ring, up the ramp, and eventually on the stage. The slow progression through the landscape and using the environment to highlight the damage makes the match more interesting to watch, instead of just watching a static beatdown. Eve comes out to uneffectively watch Ryder get killed, and I’m not entirely certain why she didn’t do anything here, because I thought the “no interference” thing only applied to Cena, but I could be wrong. The end of the match is great, as Kane Chokeslams Zack right through the grating on the stage, and Cena, who had come out at this point, can only watch. Props to Cena for his facial expressions here: he looks genuinely troubled and concerned about Zack. I’m also amused that Kane, after crushing Ryder, just leaves without even going for a pin, though I would have preferred he rub it in against Cena a little more. But that’s not really needed, as it turns out, because as Zack is carted away into an ambulance (you can tell I’m a jaded viewer from the 90s, because if there’s no blood, I have a harder time believing an ambulance is necessary), Eve tells John that this is all his fault. It’s not really a fair accusation, given that Cena is clearly being played by Kane and Laurinaitis, but I get what they’re going for. Josh Matthews then does the worst thing you can do in this situation, and asks Cena how he’s feeling. Cena slaps the mic out of Josh’s hand, and then does his best death glare into the camera. I know I’ve said this before, but this storyline makes Kane look like an evil genius, and gives Cena a new angle and actual character development. And when both men in the feud wind up being better for it, you know the storyline is a good one.
Speaking of good storylines: it’s time for more fun with Chris Jericho! Tonight, he’s brought back the Highlight Reel, and I notice the Jeritron 5000 has been rebuilt after Jericho smashed Shawn Michaels head into it back in 2008. Chris comes out to the ring, picks up the mic…. And then tries to hush the audience with a great pantomime finger to the lip. Naturally, this creates nothing but boos, which Jericho keeps trying to hush, as if the audience didn’t get it. That’s brilliant. I love Jericho’s pantomiming. Y2J then finds even more ways to waste time, like running backstage to get an T-Shirt bazooka, and shows a literal Jericho highlight reel on the Jeritron. It takes effort to waste this much time without boring the audience. Finally, finally, after long last, Jericho speaks his first words: that this Sunday at the Royal Rumble, the world as we know it will end. I know I can’t wait.
The next match is Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal, and it’s very much the same Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal match that we’ve had the last month. Jinder has some moves, but no charisma, and I just can’t bring myself to care about him at all. Sheamus picks up the win, which, once again, is good, but Sheamus still doesn’t have much of a plotline going for him.
Next match is Brodus Clay vs. Heath Slater. Now, I will never tire of watching Slater get crushed, but I think the squash match marathon that Brodus has been on should let up. I know that they want to make him dominating, but I believe that’s been well established by now, and running him out for under a minute has kind of gotten monotonous. I just really want to see Clay in a real match: he’s got moves, he’s fast, and I’m curious to see what he can really do. I trust that after the Rumble, he’ll start getting regular matches, which I will be excited for.
Thankfully, after two slight dissapointments, we get a match that I can get invested in: The Miz vs. R-Truth. Earlier, Miz and Truth had been arguing backstage, when a peeved Laurinaitis announced that in their match tonight, the loser woud have to enter the Royal Rumble match in the #1 position. First, I’m glad that the Royal Rumble is being mentioned, because honestly, this has been the least hyped Rumble in recent memory. I think part of that reason is that the main eventers are occupied with other storylines, and not the Rumble, and not enough of the cast is really talking about it. Surely a main event at Wrestlemania is worth something? Second, I always like when the matches on the regular shows have some kind of consequence to them. The match itself is a solid one, with a good pacing and back-and-forth, and I’m impressed with how Miz and Truth have managed to keep themselves relevant. They’ve managed to keep their rivalry compelling week to week, have good matches, and are placed in a position to have an influence on the second biggest PPV of the year. Truth eventually winds up winning, meaning that Miz is the first entrant in the Rumble.
Prior to John Laurinaitis going out to the ring to face Punk, he is met by David Otunga, who has a letter from the front office. The GM reads it, and is noticeably disappointed in what he sees. It would seem, as Laurinaitis explains to Punk once they’re both in the ring, that the Board of Directors is concerned with the state of affairs on Raw. I’m a bit surprised that the Board is only taking notice /now/ that shenanigans are occurring on the show. Where were they when Vince challenged God to a street match? It would appear that due to LAurinaitis’s outburst last week, Triple H is prepared to evaluate him next Monday. As such, the GM is awfully repentant, and announce the only thing I immediately care about: that Mick Foley is going to be in the Rumble match after all. Huzzah! Nothing else matters now. Punk, obviously, is more than dubious about all this, and says as much. But, the GM promises that he will call the title match at the Rumble fair and square. However, he’s no longer up to having a match with Punk tonight, and instead sics Otunga on Punk. The effort is meaningless except in letting Punk once again dodge a bullet, he takes out Otunga quickly, and then finally gets to hit Laurinaitis with the GTS. The catharsis here is not as good a payoff as I would have liked, because I feel less like cheering for Punk here, and more disappointed that there’s no main event. If the match wasn’t going to happen, then they shouldn’t have bothered building it at all. Punk gets his comeuppance, though, as Ziggler appears to hit the Zig Zag. It’s a comment on the state of affairs that I had to quickly think about why Ziggler was here until I remembered that he had a Championship match against Punk at the Royal Rumble.
So that was Raw, and to be honest, I’m a little let down. As the last Raw before the Rumble, I was hoping for more of an accent on the action leading into it, but it seemed to miss it’s mark. The only time the Rumble itself was talked about was with the Miz and R-Truth, the hype around the WWE Championship match has still failed to really make Ziggler a focus in it (which means that the match is going to be less about wrestling and more about what Laurinaitis is going to do), and the other few matches didn’t seem to be of great importance or consequence as to what’s going to happen Sunday. On the bright side, I am still pleased with the Cena/Kane storyline, and want to see where that leads.
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